Tired of Being Rejected

Since you're married, you might be open enough to eachother to ask for eachother's fantasies...or maybe you could go on a holiday, rent a house, light some candles and go crazy with your husband for as long as you want (preferrably in the morning or afternoon, you dont want him to be tired).
I hope what I said is somewhat helpful ^^

Wow all of this advice is so helpful. My husband and I, after a foreclosure, had no choice but to live with my parents and the sex all but stopped. Actually, the day after we got married, about 7 months before we were foreclosed on our apartment it started to really slow down. Prior to marriage we dated for 4 years, great relationship, sex, intimacy and everything. Prior to dating we were friends. Over all It seemed like the right progression of things. Anyways, now, after about 1 1/2 of marriage I find that I am sick of initiating sex. If I don't initiate it, then we don't have it. Or we get in an argument about not having sex because I choose to tell him I am tired of being rejected, then he makes it seem like 'sex' is all I care about. It is a cyclic argument all the time. Now, I don't even argue about it anymore. I have stopped pursing him completely too. He is still very affectionate and "plays" with me but when it comes to sex he says he will but never follows through unless I start crying about it. It hurts so much. He tells me he is too tired and other excuses, and no he is not cheating. I may end up separating from him. I will talk to him again about our feelings and see where the relationship ends up. Hopefully together.

I'm in the same affectionate, sexless marriage and I've only been married for 6 weeks! But we've been together for 7 years and this is how it's been for a couple of years. I wonder if a married him because it's comfortable or because I had the notion that perhaps love really is all you need.

I'm living in the same kind of situation! We are also very affectionate....he's always saying such sweet romantic things and even makes comments that he wants to have sex but then it doesn't happen. I have also been rejected time and time again as we'll. I don't have any answers because I'm looking for some myself, but just know you're not the only one in a situation like this. I also fantasize about cheating.....in fact, there is a man I've gotten very close to that respects me and my marriage....he won't cheat with me but he wants me to leave so we can be together.....I am considering it. It hurts though because I love my husband....but it's like we are just great friends and not lovers. It's so hard to know what to do. I feel for you!

You are too young to get stuck in such a situation.Eventually you will look to satisfy your desires elsewhere or become really resentful.

Happy that you at least still get affection. I have experience going from no sex no anything over 24 years. The only time we " kiss" is when I drop her off at her job and that's just a peck on the lips. I quit complaining about it after a while because if you have to ask (beg) for something that's supposed to be natural then it's not worth asking. It's like twisting her arm to show affection.

Sorry to be the pessimist here, but I fear, it might not get better. I have been married for 19 years with the same situation. At least you hold hands and kiss. I feel like I am treated like a little sister or a roommate. And he has a tendency to have emotional relationships with others. Not sure about other relationships, but my gut tells me he has. I have a life to live and you are too young to live that way. Move on.

Wow.....how do we end up with these people is a mystery to me..As a guy -I'm here to tell you is a subtle form of control and abuse-no sex and begging.....i do not know what to do either....tell 2 kids no sex -I'm leaving..i compare it to a prison...

Wow! You are the fourth woman 26 to 30 that has posted here tonight. I'll tell you the same as them. It very likely won't get better. You are very young and need to move on now because life can be way to long when you spend it lonely.

Read the stories here about just how lonely an and miserable people are when there significant other refuses them the love that they deserve. Please! Be sure and read our stories. Then run like crazy and start over with some one who will love you.

You are the same age as my child and I certainly would not want to see him live with the kind of pain that you will be living with for a very long time unless you act now to change it. Your spouse will take no action. It is all up to you.

Wow! I know it's a common thing for a woman to lose her sex drive, but I've never heard of a man who doesn't want to have sex. My sympathies. I guess it can work both ways. At least you have some intimacy.

Wow. So many of these posts describe my situation. I have been married for 22 years to a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman who is a fantastic mother to our three children and really is a wonderful wife... in every way but one. I am so tired of asking for intimacy and being rejected. I have reached the point where I don't even really enjoy the occasional sex anymore. I always feel like I am imposing on her. She occasionally submits to my advances but she never does anything to initiate. As a matter of fact, she doesn't even participate in sex beyond a little kissing and then just lying there to let me do my thing.

I love her desperately, I will not cheat, and I won't leave but this has been so frustrating! I just wish it could be better...

Exact same experience here: sick and tired of asking and being rejected.
I see you posted this ad a few years back, how are you doing now?

That sucks my gf is a little over weight and I wondered if that was part of the problem but I suspect she is just one of those people who only wants what she can't have and I have gave myself to her completely so I'm sol

I am a personal trainer, and have put my husband of one year through a diet /workouts program.
Wish that I could say that it worked. :(
Still no sex.

Wow im going through something similar. we have been married for a yr and a half and moved in after the wedding. did you tell him you are on this site? I told mine and he vowed to improve our sex life starting this week. Im not super optimistic but will give it a chance. If not I told him I cnt do this anymore and told him he has a month or Im gone.

I am in my first marriage 39, my wife never wants to have sex. She doesn't cuddle or anything, but she wants me to do all kinds of stuff for her. She expects me to be hopelessly in love with her, lusting afer her, but never actually getting anything in return. It is a cruel thing ot do to another human being.

When we were in the process of getting married, I told her that my greatest fear was lack of intimacy. I said that I had seen so many older couples that seemed like they never had time or desire for each other. She promised me that, that would never happen. Of course, that was obviously a lie. I've had sex 1 time in the last year with my wife. How can women be so cruel.

I have had the same type of thoughts, but I know that if I cheated he would leave me. Plus I dont want to cheat, I want him and only him.

I feel you I'm in same boat sucks

I am surprised by these stories. I am 45 years old and my libido has not dropped one iota. However, I exercise for an hour every day.
My suggestion to you is to go on walks with him for a few weeks every night. Once he drops a little weight start doing a walk/jog combination. Also, like someone else said try to get him to lift weights. I can always give you my program if you don't know what exercises to do, just ask. Exercise will improve both testosterone and self esteem.

The good part is you're still talking. The tough part is rejection & loneliness are so painful. I understand what you're going through. I've been married 31 years, and it's still hurts.

This sounds exactly like what I am going through, I also have been married only 2 years. What the hell is going on???

make him start lifting weights, then after the tenth or so session, when he takes his pants off go suck him a little then lay him back for some good sex--you stay on top and put your legs on his shouldres, have him massage your **** while you're doing it and you will love the outcome-----if that doesn't work, call me. I will help you

Another bait and switch victim...this place is full of them.

The first thing is to remind yourself of your abilities. Then make a plan. Then do the plan.



My plan started out small. Now it is big. But everyone has a different plan.

2 years and he is already done...you dont need to cheat....you need to get out...cheating destroys the person that gets cheated on...damage that sometimes cant be repaired... i wonder how adventerous your sex life is...if it has turned vanilla...fix it...otherwise get out...dont make the msitake of an affair...

I can relate. My husband loves to cuddle without sex. I would have shown him the front door but it's my second marriage and I put up with it. Anyway I am older than you are. It's not going to get better believe me. You will end up being one frustrated woman. Take him to a counselor or a doctor. Best of luck .

Find you a nice discreet lover and seek satisfaction and go on with your life? At least you might be sexually happy!

I can totally relate. Beginning of the relationship was full of sex. After moving in together it slowed right down but we kept the affection. After years of marriage I was thinking there was something wrong with me, I wasn't attractive enough or whatever. t took it serious, he didn't. I cheated after 9 years of being together then all of a sudden he is interested. After you are denied so many times it's too late i wasn't interested in him like that anymore. We are now working on a separation & eventual divorce. It doesn't matter what the "issues" are - people blame it on financial, or work, or too busy with kids, if you want to work on it and he doesn't take it seriously and put it and you first then there are other people out there that will.

I wonder if he is under some sort of stress. Weight gain, lack of interest in sex go side by side with depressive state of mind. Is there something that is going on at work? Financial issues can drive people crazy, especially men.

well i am in the same situation but i will have been together 14 yrs and married 9 yrs and it does not get better, my husband had gained weight, and drank, just recently he stopped drinking 111 days now and people use to say well maybe he can't perform cause of the drinking, well that was not true cause he lost weight and stop drinking and still no sex. you are early in your marriage but i can say that if after u sit down have a long talk with him about your issues and if things don't change u might consider getting out of the marriage, i my self still don't know what i am gonna do cause the more years you are together the more you have to lose and it so makes it harder. hope things will be easier for you. i wish you luck