I Wish My Wife Would Sleep Around

I wish my wife would sleep around with a few guys.  I live in a basically sexless marriage.  I have it about 4 or 5 times a year (basically whenever she wants it).  I just have no desire to have sex with her anymore.  I've only been married for 4 years and I used to make advances to her all the time.  She kept on turning me down which was really embarrasing.  Eventually I lost all desire to have sex with her.  I still have a high sex drive.  I can usually do it 4 or 5 times in a night, but at our peak in our marriage we did it at most once per month.  I guess if she slept around with other guys maybe she might enjoy sex more by experiencing variety from different men.  I in turn wouldn't mind sleeping around either.  I also wish she were kinky like me.  I love bondage, but i know she has no interest in any kinds of toys, lotions, or ANYTHING.  Maybe if she were with a professional dom it might get her into it.  I'm too embarrased to talk to her about my fantasies anyways.  If I can't even talk to her about sex, how can i talk to her about my deep desires.

polaris7 polaris7
8 Responses Apr 19, 2009

You're wasting your life mate, and hers by the sounds of it. If you died tomorrow the last five years you'd have spent in a sexless marriage that you haven't enjoyed at all. Is that what you want?

We are both in love with eachother and enjoy what time we can spend together. Actually i feel we have grown closer together and she knows that every little thing i do for her is out of selfless pure no-strings-attached love because neither one of us is expecting sex. I guess we have come to terms with this whole sexless marriage thing. It may sound crazy because we are both so young and only just celebrated our 5 year anniversary not even 2 months ago. She's even stopped taking the pill, there's no point to it afterall since the last time I was aroused enough to ********* was 11 months ago, and the last time we were the slightest bit intimate was about 5 months ago.

Just read your story. Not sure where you are with her at this point in time, but have you thought of maybe trying another way of approaching her about this problem. <br />
I remember before my Husband and I were married, he would also try to grab me in public and it would **** the **** out of me, which meant that by the time we got home I would refuse to have sex with him. <br />
One day he eventually asked me if I was bored with him and when I told him no he didn't believe me. That then actually got us talking about our problems. Not only did he find out how to approach me successfully but I also found out that he was depressed in our current situation, as we were living with his parents at the time. We went to a relationship counselor and got married the next year.<br />
Talk to her about it and about how it makes you feel. There is always a solution to every problem.

Pinkberry, LaoTzu, pilai, you're all right about talking to her about it. I guess because I'm so introverted and non-confrontational I just don't want to talk about it. Even though I love her, part of me just doesn't care if our marriage ends. We were talking about ending our marriage a year ago. A trip to Hawaii seemed to change things, eventhough there was absolutely no intimacy. Most of the time, it's like having a roomate, instead of a wife.

Dear friend, be careful what you wishing for! one day you fine out you will never able to look at your life partner face again. this may cause by many reasons (you know what I mean) take a break go to holiday just you and your wife away from other people you know and take a chance to tell her how you feel maybe turn to be good.

Just a couple of thoughts. The advice on talking about it is spot on. What have you got to lose? At least you can be sure that you've talked about the situation and clarified it before you get tied up in knots about what you think she might think about bondage and other kinkier ideas.

I know how it is not to get sex too. It sucks. But, you are the only keeping you from telling her about your fantasies. For all you know, she lost her interest because she thinks you aren't into bondage. Okay, unlikely I know, but you haven't even asked.<br />
<br />
Do you think she would go see a sex therapist with you? What would happen if you brought home a nice massage oil from somewhere familiar to her like Bath and Body Works, rather than a local erotica place? Try not to corner yourself in with the idea that she must either be nothing or really, really into domination like you are. There is middle ground and offering a nice NSA massage is one way to get started.<br />
<br />
Just a thought.

I know the feeling.