Fell In Love With My Mistress, Can't Fall Out of Love With Her
i fell in love with my lover, even though we are both married. i was the one that broke it off finally, after we did incalcuable damage to our marriages. but now many months later, i'm so heart broken i don't quite know what to do with myself. i think of her all the time. i'm wondering if i broke it off with my soulmate. i can barely breathe sometimes. she must think i've just gone back to my marriage and i'm working it out, but i am so stuck. my wife deserves better. i feel terrible for her, because i'm in no place to work it out, and be cheery and start re-healing all the pain i caused. i love my wife, its just my lover changed everything. i am afraid all this grief is going to do me in. my health is starting to deteriorate and im only 40.
i must be making this other woman into something larger than life, but i just feel her touch and her laughter and her smile and her love every day, i feel like i'm going crazy. somebody please help me, get my life back on the tracks. has anyone gone through this? i haven't felt heartbreak like this ever, even in my youth. i just don't know if its ever going to ever go away..right now. i can't see the light, and its spring. this is so pathetic. i'm sure my wife is thinking about leaving me very seriously now.