As I sit here tonight I feel dead and cold. It never used to be this way. Ever since I lost it at the tender age of 16 I loved sex. Everything about it, the touching, the kissing, the warmth of someone's body next to you. I miss that terribly so badly I feel pain in my heart.
I have now been with my partner six years. The last three have been almost sexless. We have had sex three times in the past three. One a year. One of those resulted in our gorgeous baby who is now just one.
I feel hopeless. I have worked hard to get back into shape. I dry myself after a shower in front of him to try to arouse something but he continues to lie on the couch ignoring me. And yes I have talked to him about it. He says bills and the baby and stress are all too much and sex just isn't on his mind.
I have now moved to a different area and just see him on the weekends. Not a seperation just for financial reasons. He stays near his work and I own a unit too far from his work. I thought this would help us miss eachother but he has only sent me one sms saying I miss you and thanks for a gorgeous baby. It was quite a big deal for him. He has never said "I love you" and is not at all expressive.
I probably will never leave him. I have no family and I want my daughter to have her father and his family in her life. If I left that would be it for me. He would not want to know me. He is Greek,traditional and ten years older. I'm am just so sad and scared to think of a life without sex. I am only 35!