Wondering, How Many of Us Sleep In Different Rooms

While we are on this subject I would like to know how many here sleep in seperate bedrooms than their spouses.

I know my husband and I sleep apart and that has nothing to do with our mariage. I have abad back and have had multiple surgeries and cannot get comfortable at night except in my hospital bed sometimes, plus my husband has to be up at 5am and I have chronic insomnia because of my pain and if I am in the room with him watching TV or being on the computer I wake him up.

I know this bothers him at times and I have tried everything to be able to sleep with him but I end up just laying there thinking and that always gets my in trouble in the middle of the night. If I keep busy I usually doze off aomewhere around 4 am or so and if I got up and walked to the other room, I would awaken and not be able to go back to sleep.

So I am wondering, how many of us in this group, don't share a nightly bed with our spouses because of something like the above or because of other things like snoring, or moving around.

I am trying to change my habits and have been for quite awhile, but I always end up going back to the hospital bed that I can adjust to my comfort level.

Should I go in with him everynight and stay with him until he goes to sleep and hope I can sleep to, but wait till he is asleep and if I find myself awake, go back into the other bedroom so I can allow him to sleep.

Thanks for your thoughts on this.

Mypossibilities Mypossibilities
41-45, F
10 Responses May 19, 2009

I don't sleep with that old man. He snores and likes a rock hard mattress. Besides, sex is terrible and I don't want the pressure of possibilities all thru the night. It makes it a whole lot easier, all the way around. I should have stayed single. I'd have money now, a good career, and the whole house to myself. And I'd get the remote. When this one fails, I'm never doing this again. That was very stupid of me

ZackK<br />
What a great thing you have with your wife. It is great that she understands this and so does my husband but he had absolutely no problem sleeping wherever he is. He can fall into a deep sleep sitting up in a chair!<br />
I wish I could sleep the normal hours that everyone else does and nothing the doctor does really helps unless I want to take so much medication that I am comatose and I just refuse to do that.<br />
I have tried all sorts of sleeping pills, music, meditation and even natural remedies such as lavandar pillows, spray and every new thing that comes on the market including melatonin and valerin. Tea, and so many other remedies.<br />
I worked nights before I was hurt and used to sleep from 12pm to 6pm because I attended college classes in the morning so I am not sure if that attributed to all this as I was on the nightshift 11pm -7am for 11 years before getting hurt.<br />
I know some nurses who retire, sometimes cannot get back on to a normal schedule after working night shifts for a long time.<br />
Anyway, Thank you to all who answered and game your opinions on this.<br />
My husband and I talked and we are moving into a new home in August, where the room with my hospital bed will have to be downstairs. So if I want to even spend a short time with him in the bedroom upstairs, I will have to go up with him at his usual time of 1130 pm and stay there until he gets up at 5am without the TV or my computer because I cannot do the stair alone and cannot even do the stairs some days because the pain is so bad.<br />
This may turn into a huge problem after we move. Right now our bedrooms are right next to each other on the same floor.<br />
Oh well. I will have to try to make it work somehow, for both our sakes. I hope we can because our new home is a beauty and we got it at a wonderful price.<br />
Wish me good luck in my endevor! And thanks again to you all!

ZackK - you are BOTH awesome!

Mypossibilities... Thank you for this question. My wife and I often sleep apart... with reason. She likes to fall asleep watching TV... I need perfect silence and like to read myself to sleep.<br />
Like you.. I have chronic insomnia because of my back pain. Beside the fact I have never been able to sleep well at night since I was in Vietnam in 1970.<br />
My wife is a veterans advocate and understands this. We have a Great marriage, and love on each other often, Which we consider "Acts of sex". <br />
Sleeping in separate rooms by no means keep us apart when we want "Time Together". I recently posted "My wife is too Awesome for words".... That is an understatement.<br />
We are mature enough to know it is not sleeping in the same room together that makes or breaks a marriage. It IS the Quality of time we share together that keeps us close... Not the Quantity of time.<br />
Peace... ZackK

Thanks for all your thoughts here. My husband would never believe just how many couples do not sleep together.<br />
I believe it is a high number because of all the comments on here already.<br />
So who else sleeps alone and why<br />
I think I am going to start a poll.<br />
I will notify you when I do it.

Good question. My wife has slept the last 8 years in my daughters bedroom. At times she would ask me to spend the night there instead. As my daughter transitioned to sleeping on her own, my wife spent nights in our guest room. Needless to say, we've had a sexless marriage for many years now. Recently she asked why we couldn't just "be like we used to be". To which I replied, "no reason at all", (after all, she has been the withholder all these years). So, she rearranged my bedroom furniture, bought a new bedspread and moved back into the master bed. That was about a week ago. It has improved my outlook on our marriage but I have no confidence that it will last. There are many obvious differences between us. I am the one with a bad back and have trouble sleeping some nights. She declared that she does not like to be touched while sleeping (no spooning, no arms or legs touching at all). This makes the bed very restrictive when I'm restless at night. On top of that, we both snore. Sharing a bed would be great in an ideal world. Unfortunately, in the real world we live in, it is not practical for all couples. I suggest you at least try to share the bedroom from time to time. At least that might keep the dream of a perfect bond alive.

My wife sleeps on the couch. She says it's because of allergies, but I think she likes falling asleep with the TV on.

We sleep in separate bedrooms mainly because he snores like crazy. I can not sleep with that noise and nothing he tried worked. Even on the nights when we start in the same bed he has to eventually move due to the snoring and constant turning. Our sleeping arrangement has nothing to do with the state of our marriage; it was this way even when things were better.

My stbx and I sleep in separate houses. It's a graet improvement over separate bedrooms.<br />
<br />
Separate cities might work out even better.

we sleep in separate rooms.I figured we dont have sex like a married couple so why sleep in bed like one