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Is It Me?

my husband and I are only recently married, I'm in my early twenties, and he is nearly thirty, I dont know why but our sex life is going down hill already, am I not attractive to him anymore? I don't know who to talk to cos even though I,ve got loads of friends theyre all mutual, and I'm going mad, its really affecting me, cos I don't want to bring it up anymore because its awkard, he says there's no problem, but we havent had any intimacy for ages, and it always seems to be me who does all the work when we do!!
mrswatts mrswatts 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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i know , i just had another fight with my partner about it. He will do anything to avoid it! He got angry at me for even mentioning it. Now I'm really upset all over again. How do they make us feel like its our fault!!!? I cant take this any more...

And it is so very hurtful, if we were doing something as hurtful to them, I doubt that they could stand it... let alone hang in there and endure such hurt... but they don't feel about sex and physical affection the way we do, so they are oblivious to our pain, even when we are telling them right to their face, they just basically say, we're the ones with a problem... to them we want sex too much... wanting it at all is too much for them.

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Your story sounds familiar, I am also around your age and my partner is ten years older, however we are not married, we have been living together for 6 months, and were together a long time before that. Before we moved in our sex life was great. Infact the best sex I had ever had. Slowly but surely our sex life is becoming inexistant, and everytime i ask him about it he either ignores it or says yeah ill try with no real meaning. I have been dealing with this for about 4 or more months now and I just dont think I can take it anymore!! I want to leave, so that I can stop feeling so hurt that my own partner isn't attracted to me?? even though he swears he is. Unfornately I cant leave because I love him so much and in every other way he is great we get along great if there was just one thing I could change it would be that we could have sex again!! and not even so much for the sex but just for hiim to intimately touch me again and just to know I"m wanted. I feel nagging and selfish when I ask him about it but what are we meant to do? I also have close friends that I could talk to , but its hard to open up to them because obvbiously they cant understand.. I mean its so uncommon for the man to not want sex? I"ve tried to talk to one of my friends about it before and she suggested that he must be cheating on my which made me feel even worse!! Deep down I know he's not cheating on me! I trust him with all my heart, but I just cant understand why he's not having sex with me .. his excuses aren't good enough for me . Is it so hard for our partners to understand that intimacy/sex is an important part in our relationships? I wish they knew how hurtful this really was. :(

I agree with you completely. I'm always the one initiating and I'm also in my 20s. I feel frustrated and annoyed at him and then frustrated and annoyed at myself for feeling that way. <br />
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Good luck to you