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What Is Sad Is.......................

This whole time I was angry/hurt about the lack of sex,.....But I now realize it's the rejection of me as his friend partner lover that is most painful and sad!! And it's the intimacy that I'm craving even more and he is unable or unwilling to give it. Why the HELL are we together!? I wish I could get out!!!

hebrokemyheart hebrokemyheart 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 13, 2009

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I just want to thank everyone for the comments,....although I wish that NONE of you knew what I was feeling, it does help to know I am not alone. I have been so sad and so hurt and I feel like I am among friends, so THANK YOU!!!!

It took being a member of this forum for me to realise so many things about my sexless marriage. Like most of us, I came here looking for a solution. I thought I was the only one - certainly the only WOMAN - in this situation. EP opened my eyes in many ways!!<br />
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The most crucial thing I learnt / realised was how pivotal sex is in a married relationship - NOT just for its own sake, but because it is such an integral part of so much else that is needed in a marriage. . . . <br />
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It is integral to intimacy, to feeling wanted and desired, to closeness. It is integral to genuine indepth conversation about emotional and personal issues. It is integral to self esteem, self confidence and self worth. It is the "glue" that mends other cracks that occur in relationships. <br />
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It is the ultimate ex<x>pression of love - other ex<x>pressions of love are acceptable in many relationships. You can hug your children' kiss your mother, embrace your friends . . . but you "make love" (have sex) ONLY with the person with whom you share that most intimate and profound relationship. <br />
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These realisations took place over tiime, but when they did, I understood HOW MUCH my marriage was missing.<br />
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I think those of us on this forum are all, to a greater or lesser extent, in this same position. And it is for these reasons that we are so devastated by the lack of sex.<br />
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Sex in and of itself is a wonderful and special experience that cannot be underestimated even when taken out of the context of all the above. But in marriages, it is both the sex itself AND all the "stuff" that goes with it that we are lacking . . . . .

I had a similar realization recently. Yes, I really miss sex, but it donned on me how much I need to be desired.