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Is It Possible Live Without Sex?

Hello to all of you:

I would like to share my story with you all because I don't know what else to do. I've been with my husband for almost seven years now. He is a decent looking man and I love him very much. And of course I take excellent care of myself as well, I am an atractive woman with a good body and like my husband says with "the most beautiful pair of legs he's ever seen". After we met the sex was good, he seemed attracted to me and we did have sex several times/week. Then something happened and we stopped having sex for about five years and I never understood why, every time I try to talk about it he says "there is nothing to talk about" and end of the conversation. Of course we are still together but I don't think I can take this anymore, I have tried everything a woman can do to the man she loves and nothing ever works. I ask him if he loves me and he says he does but he is too tired to have sex. I've always been faithful to him but I still need to have sex and the only way I can think of getting it is by having an affair with someone else that has to live in a sexless marriage. I don't think I could live the rest of my life without having sex, I'm almost 39 years old and I have to tell you I love sex to much as a good Scorpio woman and my hot latina blood.

nanran nanran 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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It is cruel the sexual denial card. Sex can be used to get what we want a lot.
I am a 58 year old man so I remember being at your age and you are like a race car you need to be driven. No man is to tired and no man can go 5 years. Either he is having an affair or he is gay or bi. After a few weeks of not getting it I have to put aside our differences and enjoy the make up sex as it is called. From November to December usually my wife and I are more not talking over family gatherings which I dont not attend, which as my wife says when I dont like you the furthest thing on my mind is ******* you lol. I have to agree with her, And to show how sex is used when I think my wife is going to have sex with me to try to manipulate me as she tried this Thanksgivng well I showed her lol, Got any fresh tissues, so get to the bottom of it and maybe it is time for a change. And a word of advice affairs- nothing good comes out of them

I agree with Chris... I think it is quite possible that he has either developed ED, or, he is getting his satisfaction somewhere else. Maybe ****, or maybe an affair.<br />
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His absolute refusal to talk about it at all says there is something that he doesn't want you to know, either due to embarrasment, or not wanting to be caught.<br />
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Very sorry to be suggesting that there may be someone else, but you have to look at all possibilities...<br />
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If you want change you will have to explain to him that the lack of sex is a deal breaker for you, and you need more than "don't want to talk about it"... You can suggest therapy... or just being open about what the problem is.<br />
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You need to set a deadline for when there is going to be either an open discussion or an agreement to go to therapy.<br />
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Or, you can decide to remain sexless and stay, or have an affair, or just say to hell with it and leave.<br />
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This hasbeen going on for a long enough time that there is very little likelyhood for change unless he has some sort of medical problem that can be helped with treatment.<br />
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I sincerely wish you all the best... stay around and talk with us. It helps...<br />
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FoP

Nanran, have you considered the possibility that your husband might have a PERSONAL problem. He might have an erectile problem, premature ***********, anxiety that you are 'too much' for him to satisfy, or perhaps he is stressed or depressed.<br />
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On the other hand, is it possible - I have to ask - that he is getting 'action' elsewhere?<br />
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Chris<br />
http://marriageofone.wordpress.com

Thanks for sharing your story. You are among friends here. I'm 46 but feel 30 something. I'm also in a sexless marriage among other things. And I scared myself to death when I realized I'm much to young not to have sex anymore. It really is a crazy thing to happen. Self gratification just doesnt cut it. We all need the human touch. <br />
I think he could be just giving you excuses. I dont buy "I'm to tired for sex" crapola. Sure there will be a few times when this is valid but come on...is the guy tired round the clock?? Nope.<br />
What about mornings? weekends? He is giving you excuses. There is something to talk about. There is a problem and he doesn't want to talk about it. Dont buy that crap. <br />
sigh...legs how ironic.

Anything is possible, but not fair and feasible. I met my husband at 31 and stayed til I was 44. I lived for all intents and purposes a celibate life. I couldn't do it any more, I just couldn't.<br />
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It's normal to want to share this with the person you love and married.<br />
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Please stick around and keep sharing.