Yes, We Do Have a Problem.
I've been thinking that my husband has arrived where a lot of you desire to be with your spouse. After years of denials and avoidance, he admits we have a problem. And let me tell you this. It doesn't matter. His thinking is still way off and I am starting to think he is emotionally developmentally challenged. As I already shared with a friend on here, talking to him is like trying to explain a sunset to a blind person. I don't even know how to begin.
My husband is a really proactive person. He's very successful at work with a commission based job. He's highly competitive at work, sports or whatever he puts his hand to. But when it comes to our marriage, he has done nothing but sit back and let us fall apart. It makes no sense to me. ...not a book, not a conversation, not seeking advice...just avoid avoid avoid. When he thought I was cheating on him, he didn't even approach me about it. Nothing! He just didn't do anything.
As much as I have made serious mistakes in our relationship, it is hard for me not to blame him for our demise. How can we work on or fix things when all I can do is chase down a retreating target? It's impossible. I throw up my hands.
So here we are. He's bottled up all this baggage and now he wants to leave. "There's too much conflict" he says. We really don't fight much at all. I think the conflict is all in his head.
Emotionally (and physically) I've been single for a long time. I know I'll be OK. But I'm fighting to keep things together for my kids. Although sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with an alien.