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WOW This Is Messed Up!

I have been married for 19 years, the past 13 of them have been almost totally sexless. My wife and I have drifted apart and I am not in love with her anymore. We have decided that we should not be together anymore and I am preparing to move out. My problem is I have been close friends with someone at work for 10 years, we have developed a relationship and we would like to be together. She is also in a relationship which she has tried to leave, but her current man is a total psycho! The last time she tried to leave , he threw her down a flight of stairs and then threw a clothes dryer down on top of her. He broke her leg and put her in the hospital for a couple days.He says if she tries to leave again he will kill her! Can anyone offer advice on how to get her away from this abusive bastard so I can make her happy? Thats all I really want anyway, to be happy and share my life with her.

outdoorlover01 outdoorlover01 41-45, M 6 Responses Sep 18, 2009

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Well, Man up and do it for her!! Are you afraid of him? If you love her, go kick the **** out of him and teach him that if he comes near her just once he dies!!!!! Take matters into your hands. Or be a coward and snivle to the police. Because THAT ALWAYS WORKS!!!!!

She could have left while he was locked up. She did file charges, didn't she? If not, why not? Where is her survival instinct? She works. She has an income. What is the real reason she is still with this man and he is free to make more threats?

She needs to get her ducks in a row first and then use all the tools talked about above. Lastly she needs to be committed to leaving and committed to never going back. He is using threats and violence to keep her under his control.

There are abuse centers/shelters for woman that you can call. She needs an intervention. This will be a tough situation.

Sounds like you could use a romantic escape, just the two of you. I wouldnt be too quick to judge someone as "psycho". He probably has his issues with self security. If you dont want to be with your wife anymore then you should leave, but make sure your not half-hearted in doing so. Make your decisions with gusto. You dont want another repeat of several years with a woman and falling into the same routine. It doesnt matter who you are with as long as you know the guidelines. People change. Not just long-term, but on a day to day, minute by minute basis. Communication is so crucial in a relationship. I believe that people meet eachother for a reason. That there is something they need to learn or gain from eachother. You should probably find out what that is. Your not responsible for making others happy, but showing them how to be happy by themselves is another story.

She will need ure support and patience.she has potentially her life to lose.Youre love and understanding will be the weapon she needs to fight this bastard.the law will not properly protect her from him but she can speak up for her self and they will have a duty to protect and serve.its not easy but im sure she is worth the effort.dont rush into trying to fix it for her she will have to fix it for her self to come to u being a stronger person and having a strong persona to offer u in a relationship.Keep faith in ure self and ure good nature.