My Husband Is Jealous Of My Accomplishments

There was a time when my husband and I had no problem in bed, we had a child and things slowed down. I've always been ready to go (in bed), even after our child. Fast forward 10 years, he has a felony, overcome alcoholism, and cannot keep a job. Because of this, I realized I needed to step up and do my part. I went to school, I'm graduating as an R.N. in October (through an accelerated program). It seems like every chance he gets he cuts me down. I'm not one to put up with anothers bull$#*!, yet here I am putting up with his. He puts me down, and I put him down. I'm tired of this, I just want someone to support me without throwing it back in my face.

anoidwife anoidwife
31-35, F
3 Responses Oct 15, 2009

Hi again,<br />
I really don't see myself or any of us, willing to share our problems, as pathetic. What is pathetic are the men we put up with. My problem is and always will be my big mouth. My big mouth speaks before thinking. Because of this I've made my husband feel dumb many times, I must add, it's always in retaliation. I recently found through his internet browsing history that he has visited **** sites. We had a huge fight about this. I'm no longer the young, skinny, girl he first met. Seeing these tacky sites makes me feel, not only ugly, but inadequate. We worked through this, yet I can't let it go. He has decided to go back to school, which I fully support. He has decided this after not looking for a job since January of this year. He's always had his family to rely on financially and doesn't care that his mother complains about the money she is spending on us. This really bothers me. I'm trying my hardest to get away from their money, while he keeps going back for more. While I'm not looking for a way out, I guess I'm looking for an ear to listen. I hope this gives you the details you are looking for, it's definately painful for me to share my pitfalls as well.

AnoidW, <br />
Welcome to our pathetic group and sorry that you have to join us. <br />
<br />
You do not provide a lot of details about your situation. That is OK. Most of us spend a life-time in confusion over this nonsense and it is very difficult to see the forest for the trees. I recommend that you hang out here and read, read, read what others have to say. You will get sympathy, some humor and different opinions on these matters. After getting more acquainted with our experiences, you will likely find that you share certain patterns with some of us and it will help you recognize more of the problems that are particular to your marriage. <br />
<br />
Stay strong at least for your child's sake.

I know this is what everyone tells you "you should leave him" and they are most likely right, if he has been like this for more than 5 years he most likely isn't going to change his way, I know you love him very much and stepped up so you can support your family, and he has low self esteem and is discouraged in himself as a man, and he should be, he should be going to school or trying to make things better for himself but instead he bringing you down makes him feel better. A good way to get the support you want is friends or separate from him, don't let him ruin what you worked so hard for yourself, be proud of who you are. It's going to be very hard if you separate from him but it will give him time to see how he is treating you and he will try to get you back and win you over, but it will be your choice to accept him back, if you want to move on my advice is stay single for a bit than go and search for the support and love you want, because if you search for it right after a relationship you will come off to clingy and desperate! =) so good luck to you missy