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No Sex In The Blue Yonder

I met my husband through my ex husband.  My husband use to enjoy having sex with me and I as well with him then he stopped all of a sudden and just said to me one night "do I always have to touch you!" and then it just stopped he blamed it on maybe he has a medical condition then he went to the doctor and found out he had prostate cancer and he went through surgery and now he has no prostate he gets a psa test and he can't physically have an erection but he won't try anything else like foreplay or nothing.  I have been living this way for almost 5 years now I don't know how much longer I can hold on to this kind of living.  I have to satisfy myself and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss a touch of a mans hands on my body .  I miss this so much.  I sometimes wonder if we still love each other we tell each other but we don't show it. 

pelaton2000 pelaton2000 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 17, 2009

Your Response


Pela, <br />
This may entirely be speculation. I am just throwing this out as a possibility that might offer clarity: Your husband did not suddenly stop desiring you. He was faking it before he asked if he always has to touch you. Things were just bubbling up and he could not hold it in forever. <br />
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Like others said: he still is obligated to be intimate in the best way he can and he is failing in the responsibility. Do not accept his impotence as an excuse.

I can understand the period where he had cancer, but now that is past and certainly viagra is available. His refusal to seek assistance is a failure on his part as well as a breaking of a marriage vow he made to you LOVE you. You are in your prime sexual years as far as enjoying sex and you should be able to have your needs met. This sounds like a choice matter ... put the foot down and tell him its either the doctor or the lawyer and the choice is his.