We Are Shooting Ourselves In The Foot

I think our society is generating a lot of emotionally crippled people. There is no real role that we can ascribe to man or woman. People are trying to figure out who and what they should be without having a clear picture of what commitment means. True commitment to me means that I will do anything within my power to make life better for my spouse with the caveat that I will not give up myself or do things that degrade myself in my own eyes.

Many people don't seem to get it that they are assuming some responsibility for their partners well being both physically and emotionally because they are entering into a partnership where two people are trying to create a situation where they can both find some comfort and happiness.

Unfortunately we don't seem to have any way to train people on how to build a solid relationship. There are many people out there that never get past being totally absorbed in themselves and their wants. The idea of sharing is totally foreign to them. You cannot have a relationship unless both participants are open to giving part of themselves to making things better for their partner.

Many of us seem to be married to people that have closed themselves off from us and who deny that we have a right to expect them to care for us and nurture us as well. They may pay the bills and they might be dependable for doing the tasks that come from just living but they stop before they give anything to their partner’s emotional well-being.

I'm not sure if they don't know how or if they are just selfish and unwilling to make an effort in that direction. Whichever it is it destroys the partnership. Is it immaturity or something else? I don't know all I know is that it hurts like hell to be constantly rejected. We can only take so much before it's time to leave.

Many of us keep hoping things will change and we cling to the idea that things will change for the better. Most likely things won't get better after years of the same behavior. But we are unwilling to give up what we've invested in the relationship and we suffer on.

It takes guts to break the cycle and to move into the unknown. It's really all we can do though, we can't change them, and they can only change themselves. The hardest things we can do are to say it's over and walk away because we have to admit that it's a failure and go on.