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you might be in a sexless marriage if
Nov 9th, 2009
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T
he problem that a lot of us are having is figuring out where we go from here. Some are divorcing, some are just putting up with it and others are dealing with crazy people. But some of us still don't recognize the problem so here are some pointers.
1. If you are married to someone that thinks intimacy is sharing the TV remote you might be in a sexless marriage
2. If your significant other thinks that sex is something you do by yourself you might be in a sexless marriage
3. If the hottest thing your partner has said to you lately is how about turning down the thermostat you might be in a sexless marriage
4. If your partner comes to bed wearing enough clothes to keep them comfortable in Alaska you might be in a sexless marriage.
5. If your partner sleeps in a different room than you do you might be in a sexless marriage
6. If the best compliment you've had lately is the lawn looks great you might be in a sexless marriage
7. If you can't remember the last time you had sex you might be in a sexless marriage
8. If you figure your sexual frequency by the decade you might be in a sexless marriage
9. If your partner considers a hug and a kiss on the forehead to be a sexual encounter you might be in a sexless marriage
10. If the only kind of sex you're having is hallway sex that's when you pass in the hallway and your partner says Scr*w You you might be in a sexless marriage
11. If you don't remember what your partner looks like naked you might be in a sexless marriage.
12. If you are not on your partner's to do list you might be living in a sexless marriage.
13. If you have named your sex toy you might be living in a sexless marriage.
14. If you have a drawer full of lingerie that you have never worn you might be in a sexless marriage.
15. If the most passionate kiss you've had lately came from a pet you might be in a sexless marriage.
16. If your mate spends more time talking to the dog than they do to you you might be in a sexless marriage.
17. If you suggest a dinner and date night and the response is you order the pizza and I'll get the remote you might be in a sexless marriage.
18. If you still have half of the dozen condoms that you got in college and you graduated and got married 20 years ago you might be in a sexless marriage.
19. If your spouse tells you they want to try a new position and it's back to back you might be in a sexless marriage.
20. If your spouse fixes dinner but you're not invited you might be living in a sexless marriage.
21. If your spouse goes furniture shopping and comes back with twin beds you might be in a sexless marriage.
22. If your picture is in the center of your mate's dart board you might be in a sexless marriage.
23. If it's been years since you had to sleep on the wet spot you might be in a sexless marriage.
24. If you spend more time on a website about sexless marriages than you do in the bedroom you are in a sexless marriage.
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 Feeling confused  | Posted Nov 9th, 2009 at 6:52PM Lol this is brilliant!   |
 | Posted Nov 9th, 2009 at 7:33PM Im worried now ,i can tick quiet a few of those . |
 | Posted Nov 9th, 2009 at 8:34PM O...M...G...soooo familiar but still funny....well, at least my sense of humor is still alive. wow, I can also tick far too many of these. |
 | Posted Nov 9th, 2009 at 9:48PM I think your spuose maybe cheating or gay, or have totally grown out of love which is very selfish and not right |
| Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 1:33AM Nothing you have said is wrong, but between 12.5 and 20% of marriages in this country are sexless. If the individuals involved can make peace with that then why is it wrong. Sex is an animal instinct, love is a better thing. It c ould certainly not work for everybody, but for those it can, why pick on them. |
 | Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 2:12AM Laura, I think you have misunderstood the purpose of this forum. Fy is not "picking on" those who live in sexless marriages - ALL of us on this forum live in sexless marriages!! I suggest you do some reading around this forum (stories, forum topics) and see what this Experience is all about. If you live in a Sexless Marriage please indicate that in your profile by nominating it as an experience of your own. If you do not live in a sexless marriage, I suggest this is NOT the Experience for you . . . +2 nods |
 | Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 3:39AM 8. If you figure your sexual frequency by the decade you might be in a sexless marriage I should be so lucky! |
 Feeling tired | Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 4:34AM, last updated Nov 10th, 2009 at 7:47AM That is brilliant....problem is I think I can tick most of them.... 11. The last time you had sex was when you passed your spouse in the hall and they said s***w you. Laura - I think that you'll find people in this forum live in more than just a sexless marriage. When the intimacy, touch and love go, there's not much left..... |
 Feeling aggravated | Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 6:11AM Good one jobrowne I added that one. Anybody else got one for the list? we can have a little fun here maybe. Apparently some of the folks that read this post don't get it at all. I'm not picking on anyone, I'm just trying to find a little humor to keep from crying. I've been in a sexless marriage for 26 years and there isn't a thing that's funny about that. But if I spend all my time focused on my pain all that will do is drive me more crazy than I already am. The people in this forum that have a legitimate reason for being here understand this post. Like I said anybody else got a good one? Email it or put it in here and I'll add it maybe we can have a laugh instead of a cry. |
 Feeling sad | Posted Nov 10th, 2009 at 6:40AM LOL, this sad but true! Made me laugh though...great writing! |
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