Well I Got A Reaction....
I am not saying that a totally emotionless relationship should be any easier to leave, but my confusion lies with being told one day that I am the most important thing in the universe and that all he wants is to live a good life with me and for us to be happy together and the next day being either completely ignored, picked at or yelled at for something I'm not even aware I have done wrong.
The constant shifting from one to the other is both tiring and emotionally draining. I let my guard down too quickly perhaps, but he is my husband after all. I don't want to turn into someone who can't get close and trust and love anyone for fear of rejection. I wasn't brought up that way, its not me.
I asked my husband yesterday quite directly about the lack of sex (the conversation was in public of course, would never risk that conversation at home) , he explained that he didn't see it (sex) as a key part of our relationship, that it is not what creates our intimacy and that if I wanted to go elsewhere for it he is ok with an 'open marriage'. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting, I have had sex with 2 people in my life - husband number one (13 years) and husband number two (the last 5 years). To me, it is part of a loving relationship, whereas he has had a lot of 'sport sex' in his life (as he refers to it) including multiple partners. Now I'm thinking maybe he feels I'm not experienced enough and I bore him. I'm almost feeling apologetic for not 'sleeping around' when I was younger.