Still In Love

Married:  18 years

Use to be:  Greeaaaat!

5-6 years in:  Occasional reminder of what use to be

Now:  I've forgotten completely.

If I could find a way to have a discreet, uninvolved affair I would.  How does one solicit a male prostitute and how much do they cost?





Bigtoe3 Bigtoe3
46-50, F
6 Responses Jan 19, 2010

How are his testosterone levels? I've been 10 years without intercourse. It was supposed to be a temporary time of no intercourse while we were living bi-coastal due to a job transition. When we went too long without she had pain. I was starting to experience erectile dysfunction, but I didn't realize what was going on there. After we were together full time (about 6 months) I expected we would resume intercourse. I could still pleasure her in other ways, but she became more and more withdrawn from me. Now with all the anger and hurt and her unwillingness to seek either counseling or medical advice (beyond her family doctor who doesn't get it), I it's a major hurtle just to reach out and touch her. I did discover that I had low testosterone and it was causing me to come one strong during the day and they avoid intimacy at night by not going to be at the same time, etc.<br />
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If couples could only seek medical treatment from someone who was an expert in sexual dysfunction it could make a world of difference.<br />
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Now after 10 years I am considering a NSA situation, but I have no self confidence. Wish I had better answers for us both.

Wish I could help, but I know nothing about prostitutes. And I don't think I really want to.<br />
Besides I'm not sure having sex with a prostitute would be very fulfilling. I think having good sex is partly wanting to be with, a please someone. Since I can't see wanting to be with a prostitute, how could the sex be good.<br />
I would rather have an affair with someone I cared about. But it would be a problem if you start to care too much. It's a tricky situation. As far a feeling guilt with an affair, wouldn't you have the same guilt with a prostitute?<br />
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I feel the same way you do, although my situatuion is a little different than yours, and also don't know the best way the handle it. <br />
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Anyway I hope you can find a solution.

Thank you all for your advise. Seriously means a lot to me.<br />
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We have been to a counselor - 3 years ago. Their tough for me, like I'm paying someone lots of money to listen to me. When we went some things came up that hurt. (duh) I was, like, great, I just paid them to make me feel like crap.<br />
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I tried for years to keep it fresh. I was always the experimental one while he was more of a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Don't get me wrong, He was a fantastic lover, I still blush when I think of him as he use to be.<br />
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The last time I made an effort, we're talking years here, I tried a smoking hot little red number, fishnets and all, candles, good wine. He got home from work, rolled his eyes and said; Jesus, I just got home, I'm exhausted, is that all you think about, now I feel under pressure to preform, blah blah blah blah blah......<br />
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That was it. Done. Over. Kaput. I tell you I am in tears right now. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how we can be so close in every other way. I am lonely in my own marital bed.<br />
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Prostitute route just makes the most sense. Though the thought is depressing (kinda like the therapist) to pay some guy to have sex with me - there would not be the 'logistical nightmare'. <br />
Worse case scenario, I get an STD. My husband would not even know about it. <br />
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I have never had an affair, don't know if I could handle the guilt. Plus, people are tricky. I would never want to put my husband through that.

i agree with sander...why spend money on something that you might get a std with when you can go and get counseling?? trust me affairs are not worth especially if you really love your other half...

It shouldn't be to hard to find someone for an affair. Will that really solve your problem? or just make your situation more livable?

How much are you willing to pay?