A kissless marriage leads to a sexless one

My husband hasn't kissed me since the day we got married, that was 18 years and one month ago. he won't even say my name. So last year I said I was done. and nooo it is not because I have a dental problem or bad breath or am a bad kisser - he smokes and I don't so that would give me plenty of reason not to kiss him. Last year I ended our sexual life together. I am done with being in a fake intimate relationship. I felt as if I was something he did to get off. Just sex for him, I was a pumping station. I ended my humiliation and feel so much better. Now to feel even better, I am divorcing him.

HoneyBlossom HoneyBlossom
41-45, F
9 Responses Feb 7, 2010

I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, Honeyblossom, but I do applaud your strength. I agree with everyone- "The Kiss"- full of passion, romance, want, need... is the part that is missed so much. These "pecks" I get from my husband/roomie that are automatic to him when he leaves for work mean nothing. As I said in one of my earlier stories: the last time I had a tongue in my mouth other than my own was from a dog that accidentally licked my face when I was yawning... yuck. Would love to change THAT memory! Lol...

I agree with you..... Everybody has the right to experience true love and most importantly be treated right. I am going through a divorce too. But for different reasons. He suddenly wanted an open marriage and was having an affair with my so-called friend. Long story.... but needless to say... I want no part of that life....<br />
More power to you and I hope that you find happiness one day again.....

Right on Vegas! A perfect definition of passion in my mind!

Wow, you guys are right. Just the kissing is worth the entire divorce. It's really really good kissing, and unfortunately far too infrequent due to the long-distance relationship. But still worth the entire divorce. <br />
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We met at the airport, kissed once...and then made out for the entire cab ride to the hotel. It was one of the best days of my life.

Oh yes... missing the kissing is part of the hell, isn't it.<br />
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james<br />

Me thinks that the lack of a kiss was not all that finally did this relationship in but it certainly didn't help it survive either. I agree with the posters here, Passionate kissing is the overture to a grand performance and are of a necessity to any relationship of consequence.

Thanks to all of you - sometimes I wonder if I am just a stick in the mud, cold fish, but llike Lion said - if it doesn't have passion behind it, what is the point? And to that I have no answer except divorce.

I would also include lame *** pecks, ie "Not real kisses" should be included in this. If it doesn't have any passion behind it, what is the point?

i agree that a kissless marriage leads to a sexless marriage. my first husband never ever brushed his teeth and lost most of them. i realize your post is not about this...but the fact of the matter is, yes, a kissless marriage leads to a sexless marriage.<br />
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what i miss most about being sexual is the kissing. i do indeed miss the entire act of sex....but for me the kissing is what i miss soooooooooooo much!<br />
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glad you were strong enough to leave the situation sweetie.....