Tonight We Talk...

I let my husband know that I am unhappy again. That was the day I joined EP. This is not the first time I have told him. It has been a roller coaster for over a year. He tries.. I see nothing.. he sulks that his efforts did not work. and on and on. He tries to plan for our future but has no ambition to better our financial position. He wants to trap me for his own selfish reason, "I dont want to be alone."  Well you know what... I dont want to be unhappy. I am dying inside and I want out while there is hope for each of us to find our someone.

I do care about him. I know the tears will fall tonight. But I know that I have to do this for my well being and so my kids can see their mommy as the happy woman I once was.

Let me know what your thoughts are. I could really use some building up in the next few hours. I have only told a few people that I have finally decided. My family will freak.. but this isnt their life. I want to be me again. This sexless marriage has suffocated the better parts of who I am.

jabebff jabebff
22-25, F
7 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Thank you TrickyandPip and girl80. It isnt easy for him to accept. I dont understand that. We both are not happy. He keeps telling me he hasnt agreed to a divorce, but really he doesnt have a choice. He did start talking about the bills and the child support. I thought it was interesting... from 2 days ago telling me he wasnt ok with a divorce to starting to seperate out the funds and bills and stuff.

Jabebff, stay strong and follow through with your decision. Don't waste your life being unhappy. I finally left my marriage about a month ago after 4 years of sexlessness. Most people tell me I'm still young enough to get anything I want out of life, but I would have much rather been in your age group and starting over. Don't doubt yourself; you're making the right choice for YOU.

AnarChristian... I dont know your story.. and you obviously didnt read anyother posts of mine. I didnt omit intentionally. I have it in other stories on other pages. My husband is the refuser. I tried everything.. but at some point when you get rejected so often.. the desire to be wanted by that someone goes away. <br />
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My children will be better off in a house where mommy is happy. My marriage has been rocky since month one. I pretended like it wasnt.. for my daughter.. then we got pregnant... then the sex stopped. He admitted last night that he saw me as fragile. I have never been fragile in my life. And that was how I felt around him.. Like someone else.. not the love of his life as he claimed.

OK. So, you are unhappy..... about what?? <br />
Who the hell is the refuser here? <br />
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I do not wish you luck at all. I wish you clarity. You deliberately avoid details in your story. You never really say what you want. That is typical modus operandi and mind game of a double crosser. <br />
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You asked for thoughts. Here are mine: you need personal therapy to figure out what the hell you want. You owe it to your family before you destroy their household. <br />
Also, I think you misled your husband so that you can fit in. It is unfair to undermine the marriage that you created.<br />
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Until someone invents a time machine, I think you have to fess up and lay in the bed that you made.

I do wish you luck - but have you told him what you expect him to do?<br />
I mean - give him specifics.

Oh sorry. I have posted a few other stories. No he has no interest in add another girl. He has no interest in anything. <br />
Dave Ramsey is already set in motion. That is my other plan for the finances and he just cant get on board with it.<br />
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I do know the answer. I am just scared because we have had this discussion before and he did nothing. He sat there .. then teared up.. I dont know what else to do. But I know I want a better life for both of us and he is not in my picture for a better life.

If he's serious about staying, sit down with him at the computer and look up Dave Ramsey,. He is the man on the radio who is all about managing finances and reducing debt. Contact Mr. Ramsey and share your story. If your husband is serious about your marriage, he'll go along