Seems So Unfair

I just feel so useless. What gives him the right to take away the intimacy from the marriage? It doesn't have to be about intercourse, he has ED, refuses to go to the doctor. Nevertheless, it is more than that now. He hasn't touched me in any way in seven months. He doesn't understand why this is a problem for me. I am hurt, sad, and confused. I can’t imagine having to live like this for the rest of my life.

CloverWilde CloverWilde
51-55, F
10 Responses Feb 16, 2010

Give him the chance to do right by you before you make any harsh decisions!

Gee, just when you thought you have heard everything, you hear more!

Really? Leave him for this?

i ask myself that question everyday and always come up empty handed

I do think, however, that ED does affect a man greatly. His pride is hurt and the inability to consummate the act can be "deflating" to the ego. Perhaps that's why he avoids intimacy. <br />
<br />
However, if he loves you and knows you don't mind other types of pleasuring, he should accomocate your needs. I'm probably in your husband's situation except that it's my wife who's been the denier for years. At this point I don't bother trying as I don't get any physical or even mental satisfaction and she can live without it.<br />
<br />
Have you told your husband, if it's indeed the case, that you don't mind his not obtaining an erection, that you don't love him less for it or think him less a man, but that you would like to cuddle and try other forms of mutual stimulation, physical or visual?

Yes you aren't alone... and you are right though... what give them the right to take away that part of adult life from us?<br />
<br />
james<br />
atlanta

Yes you aren't alone... and you are right though... what give them the right to take away that part of adult life from us?<br />
<br />
james<br />
atlanta

Sweetheart, please read my story....you are not alone!!!!!!

I wish there was a guide book for senerios like yours, what if and what direction to take. Some people suck it up and do other things to enjoy their lives, like joining friends, clubs, church and groups. Others get a divorce right away, and some go out of heir way to get enjoyment from other guys, like a side affair, decisions, decisions, none really answer the question of intimacy in marriage. I think that is why prostitute situation are still active today as it was a thousand years ago, even for women.<br />
I took the easy way of enjoyment and have had many mistress, usually married and feeling the same way we do. Up until this year I have very happy with a discreet intiment affair, no strings attach and happy with the situation.

Can you afford to leave him?