A Thinly Veiled Insult.

February 5th was my 52nd birthday. I got no cake, no sex (big surprise) and my "present" was a 2lb. bag of dark roast coffee beans. 1. I don't like dark roast, she does and 2. In order to make coffee, I have to grind the damn beans first. She took us to dinner but as I've been Diabetic 28+ years, indulging myself in rich food is not exactly my  idea of fun. The worst blow of all was the following note she wrote inside my birthday card.

I hope you are coming to a point in your life where you realize great happiness. Perhaps it is just as well that we finally accept we are responsible for our own state of mind. Happiness is like a flower petal, beautiful and temporal. May this be a great birthday. Love Me.

This is her way of quietly saying "don't expect anything of me because I don't want to give it."

I threw the card away.

At this point, I would sell my blood to get the money for a divorce but I can't even do that as they don't take blood from Diabetics. VB, I'm one of those imprisoned by dollars you mentioned and it's agony.

deguarddog deguarddog
51-55, M
9 Responses Feb 21, 2010

I agree… ignore her as much as possible. Don't talk.<br />
She will at least see you aren't happy - even if she doesn't care.<br />
Happy birthday, by the way.

Yup, your wife is insulting. <br />
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You know, this nastiness has inspired an other dream for me. I dream of a day where greeting card racks will have " From your refuser " and " From the one you refuse " sections -- of course, this will be a transition to the final revolution.

The depths of some peoples cruelty seem to have no bottom. Sorry you are finding that truth. Happy Belated Birthday

Happy belated birthday!

Happy Birthday!! Stay strong and focus on yourself.

Yes, I know what you mean. My wife totally forgot my b'day this year and mentioned something about 3 weeks after the fact. " Oh I forgot your birthday didn't I?" Then even when she does it is Maybe, just maybe a card a few days late. WTF is that all about?

Jefferey LMAO yes that we do!!!

Sorry about your birthday :( I really don't know your situation and I can't claim to know whether any of what your wife has written is true or not, but if I got a card like that I would have read it as "I sincerely hope you've matured enough to realize that happiness is within your grasp and control (Instead of complaining and/or blaming me like you usually do), and the only reason you're not happy is because you don't want to be." AGAIN I do not know you at ALL, that is just what I read into in the card!!!<br />
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I would also, if I personally gave this card to my husband (which I wouldn't, esp not on his birthday during which silence is better than a "lesson") probably have meant, if you can find stability and joy within yourself that hapiness may create a connection between us once again.<br />
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Side note: My husband is a type 1 diabetic, and has been able to give blood - they ask if you're under control, what your last AIC was and test your blood sugar for that moment first. He hasn't been able to do so in years....but used to do so.

I'm sorry to hear this happening to you. Is there a way for you and her to sit down and have a serious talk? There are options out there, maybe try researching it.