1/2 Hour

To My Wife,

I just wanted to thank you again for shooting me down the other night when I asked if you would like to spend some time with me out at the fire pit.  I fugured since we are on vacation, you might have some time to spend with me since there was nothing else going on.  You seemed interested until it came time to head down after the kids were in bed and then you gave me the classic lines, "I am exhausted!" and "I also have a sore throat coming on"

All I wanted was to spend a measley half hour with you to reconnect with you.  I appologize for wanting to spend time with my wife and try and meet her emotional needs.  This will not happen again!  Please also for give me in the future if I never want to engage with your phony kisses followed by the "I love you!" line.  My question to you is, do you REALLY love me?  I sure can't tell anymore.

lion98632 lion98632
36-40, M
13 Responses Feb 22, 2010

I like these "checklist" analogies. I would imagine these folks are probably list makers and schedulers like my W?

AC I'm so sorry you lost your puppy! (To me they're always puppies!) <br />
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I know how comforting they can be when you're feeling unloved. :(

Luvmygirls81, with all due respect, I've read about 10 books, not the one you mentioned so I appreciate it, but without brain surgery on her I don't think things are going to change and this one probably aint worth saving.....send on over some of that stuff you're smoking though. :)

My husband doesn't even have the excuse of family interference, we have no kids and we always vacation alone, yet still no sex. After the excuses from this weekend - which involved the online game he plays needing his attention (yes he did actually say he would love to have sex but he needed to sort out issues in his game) - I have turned the corner onto '**** you then' street. It's really sunny here and the birds are singing - best street I've been on in a while.

WOW !!! Just .... WOW !!
I send a polite hug ....

I'm not trying to make you feel bad but is there maybe an underlying reason she refused sex? At the same time may 09 was long passed. I know you don't want to make anymore efforts but can i suggest a book??? Well i will anyway it's worth a shot to save your marriage right? The name of the book is Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggriches you can go to his site www.loveandrespect.com. I have to say the book changed my life and my marriage and even if she isn't willing to read it you can I don't know you or what other marital things you have been through but I do believe there is hope for every marriage.

AC - you are just one big downer!<br />
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I love my dog too! Would probably miss him more!

Yeah, I love my dog too and I had to put him down last week.

I got a hug and a kiss this morning before leaving for work accompanied by a heartfelt sounding "I love you hunny" - haven't had sex since early May 2009. Yeah whatever!!!!!!! I love my dog too.

Whenever my wife says 'I'm going to go get a shower now' I always answer 'do you need some help?'<br />
'No.' is always the answer.<br />
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Whatever we have all done to deserve any of this is being paid back to us x10. Maybe they are mad at us, maybe they are holding grudges against us, maybe they think they are too fat, too thin, too tired, too stressed, too something… but, to do this repeatedly no matter what? Over and over? To the point of us all being here and bitching about it?<br />
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I suppose maybe we are a little to blame in some ways. But, so are they. We ask. We want. They deny. Bottom line… we took our turn and asked and wanted… they simply passed on their turn.

I mention sometimes, that I ask to be reassured that nothing has changed... a little sarcastic... but then it has been a long road ...

Been there and it sucks. We took a vacation and had a deck right bu the water. I just wanted to cuddle and listen to the waves and he couldn't be bothered because he was stressed. Because listening to water and sitting next to your wife raises your blood pressure? When did it become work to be near me?

Willoby - sorry that happened to you too! It is such a sad thing!<br />
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I appreciate the comments! Time to move forward I guess. Not exactly what I wanted to happen!

Lion98632,<br />
<br />
I just went thru almost the exact situation this weekend. Went to visit my husband's family, I let my husband know not to invite the grandkids back to our hotel that I wanted to be alone with him. At dinner he invited the grandkids back to our hotel to go swimming (indoor pool) and to watch a movie. They feel asleep in the living area and spent the night with us. <br />
<br />
I let him know how upset I was and he tried to defend what he had done by saying that he doesn't get to see them much. I have humilated myself for the last time. I am done, just trying to figure out how best to end this marriage. <br />
<br />
Married nearly 5 years and our physical intimacy ended the day we married.

sooo.... it isn't just the guys that get left behind ....
I wish we could meet ....

This is sick! My heart goes out to you. I mean, what the hell is your wife thinking?? <br />
Kids to bed, warm fire and then...... sore throat?! <br />
It is almost like they have this **** down to an art form! <br />
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When I read this brief story, I get angry. I immediately think that such callousness on the part of your wife deserves to be chased out of town -- you know, like leper colonies from days of yore. Seriously, her behavior deserves social ostracism.