An Odd Twist

Late last year I decided the wife and I had to get counseling and I wrote about the experience in this forum.  After thinking it was going nowhere, we let it go over the holidays and thought, though not formally stated, that we'd resume in the new year.  that never happened and the spouse never brought it up, though I think she wanted to continue, if only for herself.  Today I come home and my wife tells me we received a letter from the clinic informing us that our therapist, who was an older gentleman (and actually gentle) has unexpectedly died last weekend.

I guess this could be confirmation of my decision not to continue.  It also serves as a notice that our time here is very linited and we never know when it'll be up.  I really need to discover the way I'm supposed to take forward.

Longplay Longplay
51-55, M
1 Response Feb 25, 2010

Sorry about the counselor ... time waits for no one not even the counselor....<br />
Don't beat yourself up about this ... it is not a sign .. it is just life.<br />
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I have been playing the Marriage Counselor game since before Christmas when I asked for a divorce and my husband of 41 years begged me to try counseling as the last ditch effort to find out if we could salvage the marriage.<br />
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Well he has had more excuses for postponing it ... I understand where you are coming from.<br />
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Now he wants to pretend that we are just fine .. we are far from fine ... I am getting mentally healthier but still no marriage counselor. My therapist said that he had to make the appointment for counseling because he is the one that brought it up .... he hasn't.<br />
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I am going to find a counselor and make an appointment ... I don't fight with him anymore about the marriage ... don't want to rehash the same crap over and over .. want to live as peacefully as possible. We agree to disagree on many fronts. This is not good for either of us.<br />
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None of us here will find a way out that is easy .... it took many years for most of our marriages to evolve into what they are today .... unhappy, lifeless arrangements .. mostly financial and maybe a lot of regret for what should have been but isn't.<br />
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Live in the moment and believe that happiness is something that we all deserve ..<br />
I am going to read your other stories .... perhaps you want to read mine for some background.<br />
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We all come from the same threads ... just different coats.