it breaks my heart reading stories here because i feel like you guys are speaking my thoughts. it`s a relief that i am not alone in this situation. i really love my boyfriend (we are not yet married but this is already happening).

he knows about his problem (he doesn`t like having sex, which is the reason of his divorce about 12 years ago) and tried to explain it to me. i never really understood the situation until recently, when it has become damaging on my personality. i started doubting myself and even my love for him.

thanks to your insightful shared experiences, i understand that there is nothing wrong with me for wanting intimacy...

i love him so much... i thought my love could transform him but i got exhausted and he is still my `winter-god`...

i plan to break up with him this weekend...

i pray for strength to leave...

YumasP YumasP
6 Responses Feb 26, 2010

ouch...<br />
<br />
what can i say, honest-to-goodness...<br />
<br />
i gotta go... :(

thanks vegassbaby... i just feel so bad wondering how such a wonderful, romantic, funny, and handsome guy like him could be colder than the north pole itself :(<br />
<br />
at first i was contented when we simply kiss and sleep holding hands (when we get tired of hugging) and we are not even 80`s!<br />
<br />
i know we are in love... it`s really, really sad how love can`t be enough...

:( i know... that`s why i have decided to leave...<br />
i wanna be loved because i know i am a wonderful person capable of giving lots of love... i feel sorry for him...<br />
<br />
thanks for all your comments, they`re empowering...

thank you for your encouraging comments. now i know that i am doing the right thing... he is sweet and can be really amazingly romantic at times but once every 2 months or even once a month and we are not yet even married!<br />
<br />
there were times i thought that he could be having an affair but when i come to realize his super lack of sex drive, i doubt if other women could seduce him. like most of you, I DID EVERYTHING just so we could learn how to `make fire`... but i just ended up frustrated big time and even hated myself for that.<br />
<br />
now i dunno, i think he could be gay... does anybody here have found out that their partner`s lack of sex drive is due to bisexualism?<br />
<br />
everytime we talked about this in the past, he would just say that at the very start he already told me that he is a `strange` guy... :(

the last night we were together in bed, he was trying to put me to sleep like a baby because i was already crying because i feel so unpretty, unloved. he got up and dressed for work in the morning as if nothing has happened and kissed me as he left.<br />
<br />
this really is breaking my heart and i feel sorry for him too, but i know i gotta go... :(

Definitely, he is broken. You are normal. One important thing: you can not transform him.