Staying up so many nights wondering what is wrong with me, my husband, and our marriage drove me to here. It is sad that so many people are having the same problem of sexless marriage as I have, but I must admit I find some comfort in knowing that I am not alone...
My husband and I have been married for almost a year. We make love maybe once a month, if I initiate it. If I don't, my husband could happily go forever without any physical intimacy. We're both young, have no children (I'm 31 and he is 32). My husband blames his lack of libido on work, too many responsibilities, everyday stress, the usual. I doubt that's the real reason, though. We are just married, both have very stable jobs, have no kids, no mortgage, nothing. If he feels too overwhelmed now to have sex with me, how any married couple would manage to ever be intimate?
I've tried everything I could to work this out. Everything. I tried to communicate with him in a very gentle and understanding way if there's something I should be doing to get him more excited, if I ever hurt his feelings so that he doesn't feel like being with me physically, or whether he is seeing someone else. He denies everything. We even went to therapy. Still no change. Although my husband claims that he loves me and begs and pleads me to stay if I tell him I'm thinking about leaving this marriage, I am starting to think that he simply doesn't care enough about me. I recognize that he is a good person with a good heart, but I cannot go on like this. I take good care of my body and I'm very fit, but I feel so ugly and unattractive. I feel like my husband is slowly drying me out, body and soul, and in a few years, all that would be left of me would be a nice big pile of ashes.
The most devastating part is that resentment from this is slowly oozing into every other part of our relatinship. After so many talks and so much hurt feelings, I can't muster the strength and courage to reach out to him anymore. I pray, I read, I try to keep myself busy with other things, but deep down inside, I am devastated everyday.