Give Me Kisses, But Hold The Grilled Cheese.

My "roomie" and I have been trying to discuss our lack of intimacy more lately. I think I'm being reasonable in my approach, but he continues to be defensive.

When I got home from work yesterday, he exaggeratedly kissed me (open mouth), but he had been eating something (grilled cheese). I didn't know what the heck it was at the time and squirmed away and eventually spit out what was still unknown to me.

He semi jokingly said, "How could you be so insulting when I try to kiss you? I feel so rejected! I'll never try to kiss you again!!"

I told him he shouldn't mock the issue.

He said, "Gawd knows how hurt and angry you'd be if I did that to you!"

I said, "I would never kiss you with pre-masticated food in my mouth. If I knew something that I did or didn't do bothered you, I would be sure to desist that behaviour."

He said, "What does that have to do with anything? I was just trying to do what pleases you. I thought you liked grill cheese."

Really? Should I have accepted that kiss, nasty as it was? If he had wine in his mouth and shared it with me through a kiss, yum, but grilled cheese?

Elvis4E Elvis4E
31-35, F
8 Responses Mar 3, 2010

i dnt think it would have killed you to laugh and call him a cheese. or put some other ingredient in your mouth to compliment the cheese. surely he knew the reaction you were going to have(immature i know) stil he would've got a major shock if you if you made light of the situation, he may have found you sexier for making him laugh and having fun. life is 2 short to be serious. lighten up. this too will pass. or better yet leave him so you can move on to greener pastures and fresher dairy.<br />
p.s no hate mail back thank you, this comment is not intended to offend...good luck

That is DISGUSTING, and if I were you, I would've punched him in his goddamned face--THEN LEFT.

do you ever feel like you just can't win? Yeah, I agree, premeditated and definitely passive agressive.

HI Elvis, I must say I find this abominable behaviour and he deserves the harshest reaction from you.I salute your patience and endurance in the face of such offensive behaviour.I also agree with Lion that this seems pre-meditated.I think this was his way of answering to your frustrations from your lack of intimacy.Clearly, anyone who wants to improve the situation would have chosen a more ideal and decent way.If this incident had happened for a couple with normal sexual intimacy, it could have been overlooked as a poorly executed joke.Since this has come in the midst of so many lack of intimacy it indicates that he is not interested in improving the situation, worse he is aiming to rid the problem by challenging you to accept uncouth behaviour if you want decent , normal sex! Please don't accept such behaviour lying low.Make it very clear that you may be wanting a normal sexual life, but you are not ready to cope with or accept this as part of the deal.Good Luck!

Very passive aggressive behaviour. "Pretend" to do what you want him to do; do it in a way he KNOWS will be unacceptale - then turn the tables on you . . . Classic passive-aggressive behaviour. I suggest you read up on this subject if you haven't already done so. I think you will find it explains your husband PERFECTLY!!

That whole story sounds pre-meditated to me. Most sane people would know that that is unacceptable! That is just no way to treat someone that you love.

What an A-hole to make a make a mockery of your situation. He could have possibly been embarassed when you called him out on having a nasty mouth and then dug himself a deeper whole by joking to lighten up his own embarassment and "rejection." He made the attempt to make you happy and it back fired into him being embarassed and rejected. I think it would be best if you told him "sorry if you made him feel bad and you did like that he showed affection, just not with the help of a sandwich." It seems he does not clearly understand your can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Your story makes me angry from your point of view because you are missing the love and affection you need. From your "roomies" point of view I see a failed attempt at making you happy and to make it worse he got embarassed. Not your fault at all and he should not have said the things he said. Like I said though, he dug himself a deeper hole because he failed to make you happy and instead talked hurtful ****.

Ha! I'll be damned NoIdeas - I was going to say the same thing about pre-masticated and desist! I love it - I would call those $10 words. Good usage!<br />
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Ohhh my. I think I am instantly happier for the day.<br />
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Now back to the story… consider the fact that he is openly mocking you and I DO NOT find it funny! I will come over and kick his *** all across the kitchen and back over to the non-stick skillet to whip my *** up a couple of grilled cheese with dill pickles. He will then apologize for openly making fun of something he does not care to change.