When I Got Married I Forgot To Read The Small Print That Says No Sex

My husband is 55 and I am 25. I know it is abig age difference but I got sick of how guys my age acted, they don'tknow what they want . My husband and I were friends for a few months, then I moved and we dated for like 6 months, then we got married. I love him very much and I beleive he loves me to. When I say I love you ,I think sometimes it sounds like he's tired of saying it back everytime. He hurts my feellings a lot. When I tell him thus he just says I need to grow up. He claims i have no common sense and I don't know how dumb I really act sometims. Before we got married we only had sex a few times Probably about once a month. He's had a low libido all his life, his first wife cheated on him because she felt that they weren't having enough sex. I said that's ok we don't have to have sex all the time, I don't want to wear it out. Then we got married, that's when it hit the fan. We got married in June the day after my birthday. He said we should cosumate th emarriage, and that it's my wedding day so I 'm entiteld to sex. He couldn't get turned on whatsoever and the whole experience sucked. How many people don't have sex on their wedding day? Then after that we had sex a couples times up until September. Then we stopped having sex all together. We'd have oral sex but not intimate loving sex we used to have. It's been almost 5 months now since we last had sex. He says he has a lot on hismind and he's always thinking. He said i go without sex for several months. Then he said to me the question is how long can you go? I brought it up to him and he said I really wanted to have sex with you a few times but everytime Iwas I horney you were in bed with a migraine or sick. I don't think that's a coincidence I think there is something he's just not telling me. He always says don't woory about it your not the problem  and it will happen sometime, I feel so deprssed and disgusted with myself. He syas there are lots of older men would kill to be with a younger woman, and that he should want to do it all the time. He had to go on unemployment beacause of his employer. I don't work, up until now I contributed with the money I received from social security for my migraines. I take online college classes. So we are home a lot and spend a lot of time with each other. We do places without each other, that's helps keep the peace between us so we won't argue. I'm sick of haning to go to the doctor every three months to get my birt control shot. I can't get pregnant from no sex. I warned him last time I get my shot that if we don't have sex by the time i get my next shot that I just going to stop getting for no reason . He just looked at me and said nothing. He says a lot if he was in the same situation as we are he'd not put up with it and get divorced. He also said that we gets reaaly older he dosen't want me to have to take care of him and watch hime die. He says he doesn't want a divorce he just thinks eventually I 'm  going to ask for it. What should I do?

neveragain123 neveragain123
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 6, 2010

It sounds like there are more issues here than lack of sex. Some of the comments he makes are not things you say to someone you love and respect.

I understand your motives for marrying this man but the age differential is far too substantial. Now I ma older that your r husn bsnd but frequent erections are not a problem. If you knew that sexual issues were apparent before the marriage I am amazed you went through with this.<br />
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You are now married to an impotent man who will grow older as you will and you will just waste precious years without intimacy and affection.<br />
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If you don't need him for support which is why you probably stay. Leave him and find a better fit for your needs.

Never, welcome to the group. Please read a lot more of the stories here, and you will learn how different people have coped with their situations. Sadly, based on what you have written here, I can see you leaving your marriage. But you have to decide your own path on your own.