Sexless Marriage

I don't even remember what it feels like to have sex to be honest. It has been six months since me and my husband have been intimate of any sort. I asked him about it and he says he has no intrest. I don't know if it has to do with him loosing his job or not even though he's only been without a job for 2 months. I have not gained any weight, if anything I look better than I did 6 months ago. I want sex all the time and have thoughts of cheating, cause he will not satisfy me.What do I do? Divorce him?

Hrlrdr2 Hrlrdr2
41-45, F
6 Responses Mar 7, 2010

definitely talk about it before calling it quits. Men are very sensitive to the issue of not being able to perform. The longer it goes, the more he may be feeling helpless. Rather than owning up to the issue he may make it seem like a issue of not being interested. If my husband (who can't have sex) were to tell me that he weren't interested, I would ask why? Unfortunately, if anger and resentment has been building up, it will come out in the discussion and will turn into an attack rather than this is what is happening and this is how it's making me feel, what can we do to resolve it...I hope it works out. Don't let it go on for much longer...

is your husband on any kind of medication mayb for depression ??? my friends husband is on citalopram and he as lost all intrest in sex and hasent had sex for the past two years with his wife, but they r still together and r still very close !

I would never have believed that a woman would experience the same issues in a marriage as I have. My wife was the same...it started almost as soon as we got married. There were periods of time when it wasn't this way, but for the most part it has been difficult. She sure changed her tune after I told her I wanted a divorce. Now she wants it everyday. And I think she only wants it to keep us together so to me it has no depth.

There seems to be no answer...<br />
can anyone say conundrum?<br />
anyone? anyone?<br />
beuhler?

I wish I had the answer for you, I wish I had the answer for me!

If he lost his job two months ago and sex stopped six months ago, it doesn't seem likely to be connected unless he knew he would lose it back then. You're between 41-45 according to your profile. I assume he's a bit older. Many men suffer a drop in testosterone at this time and he may have lost interest because of it. He may even be hiding erectile dysfunction. Whatever the reason, it depends on the strength and comfort of your relationship as to whether he'll share it or not. You may have to find it in yourself to engage him in conversation while working to keep it impersonal or confrontational.