It's Me Or The Computer Game

My sex life with my wife has gone downhill since she discovered a website called IMVU.  She is constantly on there all the time and every attempt I have made to get her more socialable and feeling confident in the real world has failed.  She has a mental disability that consist of her having problems with comprehanding what she is doing and she gets easily influenced.  She will spend the whole entire day and night on this website and thinking she is really living in that fantasy world.  I even discovered that she's been talking to a lot of men and women on this website.  They call the house all the time and she gets mad when I answer the phone.  She has also blown our play money on this website just so she can have all these digital clothes and things. 

I've tried everything from gifts to sending her home for a month.  Her family has talked to her and even gave her offers to get off this website to spend more time me.  I come home everyday to a dirty house, pets starving for attention, no dinner made and she's still in her pajamas from last night.  There's been times I've into the house and the breakfast she was making was still sitting on the kitchen counter rotting away.

But, the real topper was the last time we had sex.  It took a lot affort to get her away from the computer, but as soon as we were done, she begged me to get off just so she can get back on the computer.  She told me she was going to log off and come back.  Instead she right back on and typed away. 

I felt like my manhood was destroyed.  I've tried to build up hobbies, but she blew away our money on this website.  I love my wife, and I hate being alone, but I feel so ashamed about the last time we had sex.  I caught myself crying and even thoughts of suicide.  Can anyone please talk to me about this.  I feel so embarrassed about talking about this.

hellbilly hellbilly
31-35, M
5 Responses Mar 10, 2010

Your wife needs an exorcism.

Never heard of it....but my husband loves other web sites, um hum.....so I can commiserate.....maybe you could get a character on there and start a communication with her....I'm serious....trying to be creative here....again, it's addictive behavior, and all I can offer is my support, because right now I have no answers.

There have been IMVU advertisements on this site and my impression was that it was aimed towards younger teenagers fantasizing about being older teenagers. You say that adults are really into IMVU too? And they spend money buying clothes for their virtual character(s)? Wow!!<br />
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My guess is that anyone who would be attracted to such a website may have a touch of social anxiety in the real world. Something tells me you would agree with this?<br />
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You said her family gave her offers. What kind of offers? I can't help but wonder if they pushed her into getting married in hopes that she would mature and/or someone else would take care of her?<br />
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Is she making up for what she missed out on during her teenage years? Or perhaps, living in this fantasy world relieves her of any responsibilities like walking the dog, bathing, cleaning, etc. Does she work at all outside of the home?<br />
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Whatever the case, this would have nothing to do with you. You shouldn't feel down about yourself (much less suicidal) because this same type of situation would occur with anyone she was with. <br />
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The question for you is: does a fear of being alone trump the continuance of a seemingly (IMO) father-daughter dynamic? Note the people suggesting you block the website or cancel the internet. Those are parental controls imposed upon children, not adults.

I agree. Cancel the internet - or get a laptop and router if you can - take the laptop with you.<br />
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I would also say you need to cut ties with this one. If she is making you feel suicidal, that's enough for me to say 'bye'. Keep in mind, suicide (in most cases) is very selfish. There are ALWAYS other people who love you and want you around. Mom, dad, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends, neighbors, people at church, etc.<br />
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Make sure you don't do anything drastic. If you can't fix her, fix yourself. You owe yourself at least that much effort.

Sounds like it is time to cancel the internet. If you have some computer savvy, go to BestBuy and purchase a router with web filtering, if you don't already have one of these. You can block that web site all together.<br />
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Just a thought.