I've Tried Many Strategies But He Is Just Not Interested

I love my husband but he doesn't want me. he doesn't show any kind of remorse or discomfort about this. He is much older than me so for some time i thought that his age was the reason for this 'low sex frecuency situation'. I tried everything, counceling, tips, communication, and i discovered that he turned in the mood for sex only when i was about to real sadness or defeat.

I'd told him that we have to try or else, end the sex expectation. I just can´t live waiting for him and, that situation is, above all, really sexist (chovinist). the fact that i've to be there whenever he decides is ridiculous.

I have many questions about this because maybe this is really about me. I'm young and smart, i'm open to sex, i'm liberal.... he doesn't like to talk about sex so i don't know what is wrong. I've been reading and making some research about the sexlees marriage topic, and nothing seems to explain this. Maybe i'm not desirable, at least for him.

I won't let him touch me ever again. we behave like room-mates, like very good friends.

I want a baby so we  will have one this year (insemination) and then we will split up. anyway i'll love to know if it is something about me to work on it and build better relationships in the future.

About the divorce, of course it is easier to say it (even write it) than to do it. ...

crisrave crisrave
31-35, F
4 Responses Mar 10, 2010

I feel for you, i really do...but DO NOT have a child with this man! Particularly as you intend to leave! Kids 'were' on the cards for me and my husband sometime this year...but i walked out in Oct last year....and thank GOD i did, without worrying about kids! This is NOT the right decision for you, for him, or for the unborn child! Move on, find someone who loves u in all the ways a true partner should and enjoy starting a family on as near damn it, perfect foundations! Not crumbling ones!

I agree with DryCreek. Your desire to have a child and leave is perverse. <br />
<br />
However, I do not put you at fault. Your husband's callousness is driving you insane. For your own safety, leave your crazy husband NOW and seek help with a counsellor. <br />
<br />
You deserve to be loved today, tomorrow and until you die.

This is perhaps the most horribly selfish, inhumane, and uninformed idea I've heard. You would knowingly bring a child into a dysfunctional marriage that you intend to leave - intentionally causing a lifetime of burden and issues for yourself, the child, and your husband? Not to mention deceiving your husband and effectively "framing" him for two decades of child support in the process. Good grief!

Thanks. He wants the baby and of course he wants me, but without this <br />
annoying thing for him such as sex. Maybe you are right anyway. <br />
It is not like you will find a person worthwhile to have a baby with, in each <br />
corner. He is really a great person and for sure a great father. <br />
I'll love to have him as a lover again, but i'm pretty sure it won't happen, so the divorce will be for me and he is now in the understanding process<br />
Anyway, i'm still thinking on that. thanks a lot