....

He doesn't flush the toilet, he doesn't shower most days, He gets mad at me when he loses his erection, or when I don't feed him every meal every day. He tells people he did the things that I did, never giving the credit where it's due... He forgot both Christmas and Valentines.... He brags about my modeling career and privately tells me to lose weight. He gets angry when I ask him to rinse his dishes and put them in the sink. He yells at me to leave the kitchen and gets mad he has no food. It's getting real ridiculous it didn't used to be this way... I try so hard to support him building up his dreams, but when it comes to mine, he says they're in the way... That I should be focusing on making his success and later he'll support mine. I worked to help him build his business now its taken flight but still he keeps me restricted and cries when I want flight, saying we need to have just one dream and why can't I understand what he is trying to do? He tells me I'm not good at things, and tells me I don't know.  I'm his secretary, chef, marketer,maid, model wife .. still  He would rather jack off than screw.

But I love to hear his laughter, and his body is so fine, he's even raking in the dough, but since he's started making his dreams come true... he's made me feel like I'm not worth his time...

I loved him when we were homeless, I love him even still, but the power has changed his attitude and he degrades everything I say...

More and more he belittles me... I hope it doesn't stay this way... Back when we were dating, he told me that if I supported his dreams he would support mine, he thought I was intelligent and didn't immediately ignore what i had to say... now it's not the same

Some days I feel like crying

Some days I feel ashamed

Some days I feel like leaving

Some days I feel Nothing

Mostly I feel strange....



Wishing for an answer, wishing for a change, dreaming of making him happy and him helping me take flight... instead it just keeps getting darker... and I don't know why

 

boredbedroom boredbedroom
26-30, F
10 Responses Mar 11, 2010

you say your being trampled on like a door mat then you say that you can't leave untill you know you will regret it.If you were my kin would have you out of that situation quick smart.Your Hubby is nothing but a comtrolling bully.YOU will be better off without him HE is holding you back and the longer you stay in that situation the further down he will push you .

Mostly this post was me ranting and raving after someone on here asked If maybe it really was my fault and after he had been bitchy... Honestly only the last 4 months have been like this... he is really stressed out right now....

Some things take time - that's just the way it is.

It sounds like he is incredibly angry and you're the most convenient target.

"As for me leaving it's something I can't do until I know with certainty I won't regret it and that hasn't happened yet... "<br />
<br />
I have said that more times than I can probably count. It's my staying tool, my reaction response when someone tells me to just go, it's the hope that things will change, it's the wish that He Sees Me Again and remembers what it used to be like and starts behaving like a Man instead of a Fool.<br />
<br />
There are so many wonderful people here. I only joined a couple of days ago and it has done me a world of good. <br />
<br />
There are so many things that you said that ring true in my marriage, if we can even call it that anymore...<br />
<br />
You are not alone! <br />
My Best Wishes and Warm Thoughts~

We do not judge here on ILIASM ... <br />
<br />
We do comment and offer our thoughts.<br />
<br />
You are being abused .,... emotionally, verbally abused ...<br />
Worse than physical ... <br />
There are no scars .. just on your soul<br />
<br />
RESPECT YOURSELF<br />
WHAT KIND OF LOVE DOES THIS TO YOU? <br />
AN ABUSIVE LOVER<br />
Stop making excuses and saying you love him ... <br />
You really don't and want to believe you do ....<br />
There are other men out there who will love you and respect you ....<br />
Please ............read and listen to this group ...<br />
Blessings,

LOL THINGV I wouldn't know if that ever works out but I hope that isn't it... <br />
As for me leaving it's something I can't do until I know with certainty I won't regret it and that hasn't happened yet...

Your not alone in that, the person who has seen the most of our marriage of anyone thinks that too and tells me to leave.....

That is very sad...I had two thoughts when reading your story. One, he no longer sees you as an independent person and equal. Each of you partners with your own strengths and weaknesses. He sees you as a tool to use for his own improvement. <br />
<br />
The second thought is that he is a control freak. In the beginning, this may have been hidden since he probably felt he didn't have much to offer. Now that he is doing well, his true colors are showing.<br />
<br />
I can't see him changing until he realizes that you kick *** too (so to speak) and are equal, if not better :), than he is. In my opinion that kind of realization doesn't just happen. There must be some sort of catalyst, a life changing event that smacks him in the face and makes him say wow...I'm an idiot.<br />
<br />
I wish you the best of luck, you are sure to get plenty of advice and help here.

Oh...my....I am thinking of leaving, and sex is our only issue....if we had all that other stuff going on, I would not be here, I'd be at an attorney's office....oh boy.