Shattered Dreams

I always dreamed of a big family with a helpful partner. I am a stepmom of twin 11yr olds and a biomom of an 18month old daughter. 

What I got instead, is a husband who thinks his kids should have no chores, that joins in in disrespecting me when I try to coordinate efforts to keep the house in order and to spend time together, even when I request their input and am willing to do things they like that I find less than fun.

My pregnancy and the birth of my daughter were complicated by two illnesses so severe that I almost died. my daughter almost died several times during delivery. The chances of the illnesses coming back are high and I might not live through a second pregnancy, much less be able to care for the child I already have. My husband buried his head in work duringthe pregnancy and was rarely helpful during it.

No amount of birth control is worth the risk of sex with men for me ever again. Nothing between my husband and I, who abandoned me the night we came home for the hospital to go sleep because he couldn't handle parenting the first night home, turns me on about him anymore.

Divorce is not yet an option--I am broke and disabled, and until I heal and can get income or the disability services to pay up, I am stuck.

So he sleeps on the couch, and daughter and I in the bed. Next month it will be 2 years that we have gone w/o sex.

We barely speak, we get extremely aggravated by each other easily. I hate this.





templegypsy templegypsy
31-35, F
Mar 12, 2010

Your marriage sounds hopelessly broken to me. Have you thoroughly looked into the disability pension and/or other possible sources of income? Could any family members assist you - perhaps with accommodation? Your relationship with both your husband and your step children seems to be characterised by their disrespect and lack of care for you. If you possibly can, I suggest you and your daughter make a new start elsewhere as soon as possible.

I could be "using other methods to meet your husbands sexual needs or him meeting yours.<br />
<br />
The reason you don't want to do that is really the problem "<br />
<br />
I agree. I don't know what the EAP program is. Truthfully , our sex life was deteriorating long before we got pg. Sex maybe every 2-3 months, and not that good. Any time I told him I liked something he did, he never did it again. Everything I did turned him on. Now we just avoid each other. I can't see any foreplay being worth it. Just causes more frustration. And I'd rather be celibate than maddened by frustration with no hope of relief. And the worse our relationship gets in terms of respect, the more I get turned off.