Blindsided-hurts Like Hell

My wife of almost twenty-five years ,informed me recently she no longer had feeling for me in that part of   our realationship their gone and not coming back,we have not been  close in about six years she has had mental heath issues and medications galore ,which iwas under the impression were the reasons  for not wanting to engage me it was frustrating but  i understood it  ,Now Iam having a hard time picturing a life with no physical contact. Istill love her and want nothing more to hold her my arms again but that will not be the case and everytime i look at her my heart breaks a little more,it is weird if  she had said she had no more feeling  for sex anymore  it would have been more palatable but when she personalized it, it hurt ,and after futher inquiry she meant it that way, she has feelings just not for me .

mgoblue56 mgoblue56
51-55, M
3 Responses Mar 12, 2010

How long were you intimate when you weren't sexless

Dont lose entire hope. There is always a glimmer of hope. My wife has said that soooo many times when in one of her moods / hormonal rages. Then the light-switch gets put on and she wants to be "normal" again. It may be your wife's illness or medication talking. As for how you cope with it I dont know. I feel your pain and I feel it too when I look at my wife. I was at a Birthday party with the kids y'day as my wife landed the fact she has a 7 day shift run before we go on holiday (so she is uber-stressed and knackered before we even get on the plane ! GREAT - more excuses). I saw a young mum there I was dying to talk too. She had long auborne ginger hair, was very buxom with a gorgeous smile. She made my heart pound just by looking at her. I tried so much to catch her eye and it just wasnt ever going to happen. This was a tell tale sign of how lonely and dejected I am feeling. I turned too leave with the kids at 1300hrs and felt the similar pang. Weve just got to keep going on each day.... we have to be grateful for what we have got I suppose.

Blue, <br />
I am sad to welcome you to the ILIASM group. Please read many more of the stories here, and posts in the forum. You will see that you are so not alone. Thousands of us are struggling (or have struggled) with this situation. <br />
<br />
And yes, it "hurts like hell".