Is It Normal To Have No Physical Contact? Sex I Can Live Without But Hugs No
I've been married for 21 years. I thought marrying a friend with mutual interests would be enough. However she is not averse to physical contact just never thinks of it. In 20 years I have been held at bedtime maybe 10 times. Spooning maybe a dozen tmes. She will return a hug and let me put my arm around her for 10 minutes at bed time but never holds me.
I don't care about sex. I can go months if I have to. Its the lack of affection that is killing me. She is not depressed, its just the way she is. She says she has been this way since childhood. I know her parents have been in seperate bedrooms as long as I have known them. Is this learned behavour?
I would die just to have the feeling of falling asleep in someones arms just once and feel safe. Sounds strange for a guy to say that. Morally I could never cheat and can't afford a divorce(she doesnt work so living on half my income would be difficult and I'd pay 50% alimony) Also my kids are just entering high school so I wont do anything before they are done. It's too critical a period for them.
Any thoughts on how to get through the days without a hand hold, a hug or sitting on the same couch watching TV. I have tried immersing myself in work, sports, etc. to distract my mind . It works during the day but at night I don't sleep much.