I Can't Talk to Anybody About My Sexless Relationship

Ah, I am happy to say this relationship ended last year in December. We are still friends and can chat, so there are no hard feelings. I am much much happier. In the end I moved away to another city for work, and that killed what was left of the spark - it began to feel like we were brother and sister. (yuk)

PS Ironically I then ended up with someone who was up for it multiple times a day, sometimes 5 times a night if he had been away. I wasn't complaining.

Thanks for the support, hope it works out for everyone.

I too have been there, done that. Very painful indeed. When my relationship got to the 2.5 yr mark, I started seeing a counselor as someone to talk too. It was good to have someone tell me that sex is an important part of a romantic relationship. As a guy, it was really nice hearing a woman say that (my counselor). I decided to end it for the feeling of "One thing I do know, is that I can't live like this my whole life". That statement you make, is very telling about how you feel. I wish you luck in whatever path you choose.

I have been here too. too painful.

I suggest you do as I did, find a real relationship, sorry but I have been there, your guy should decide if he wants you or not, every body has the right to be happy



Take care



Amy

I really sympathize with you, i am in a similar boat. Its hard when a relationship is emotionally but not sexually fulfilling. For me it is impossible to talk about with other people because i feel embarrassed like they will think something is wrong with me. i realize that not true but its the way my crazies play out. I think we a fed a message that put sexually into very narrow parameters, for some people there is so much pressure, trauma and guilt. I think they get overloaded and give up

Man, do I know where you're coming from! I'm the male in this case, but the one who desires sexual interaction, and not getting it from 'my' girl. She is so distant/unreachable on that level. What is the deal? I, too, have recently had some (encouraging) come-on's from other girls, so I guess I'm not just damaged/unattractive goods. I've managed to get us starting therapy (after massive resistance). Very uncertain whether that will really change anything. But I don't want to live this way. I feel like such a loser - and at the same time, know I'm not. I care about her alot, and she is so gorgeous, but she seems to loathe/ignore her body. Damn...

wow, your story is just like mine. I found a group- "I live in a sexless marriage"- and joined. I wasn't aware of this group at all. Am not married but have been with my partner for 7 years. I know exactly the frustration and worthlessness you must be feeling. I too think about leaving, but am scared of hurting him. It's so good to have people to talk with.

We basically share the same story, and it seems so much easier to look at your situation and say what to do... leave and go be happy somewhere else, but I am also in the same situation and do not believe that is the answer when you love that person and want so badly to work it out. I appreciate your story being posted because it really helps me to feel better about my situation as well, knowing I am not alone in this weird kind of relationship. I hope that there is some kind of answer to this and I hope you end up happy.

Thanks, I have tried confronting him in the past, but think it just made everything worse!

It is that "elephant in the room" scenario now - we are very aware of the problem but don't talk about it anymore.

I am slowly realising we need to break up. Although sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. One thing I do know, is that I can't live like this my whole life.

Confront him...Theres no reason a man wouldnt want to engage in sexual activities with his woman...If hes not getting it from somewhere else or gay he should want to be with you...3 times this year...Girl, you have to talk to him or leave him...give him an ultimatum

Overwork? Stress? Feels inadequate? I think you need to confront him and let him know your true feelings, even telling him: 'My insides feel like a dry husk, all the pain,rejection and anguish have given way to sorrow and hopelessness.'