My Sexless Relationship-why Did I Ever Stay?
I was in a relationship, for 3 years with a guy where communication was great, provided that it was not about our non existant sex life. He was not affectionate with me and I feel we never ever made love, just had sex at the start and I can count the number of times that happened, on my one hand! The few times we had sex, it was great.My self esteem suffered and I felt constantly hurt and rejected. He told me that it was not me, but that sex was just not on his mind and that he was happy with the way things were. I struggled with all of this and could not sleep well at night thinking, stressing and feeling bad about the situation. I felt that if he loved me, and wanted me in his life, he would consider my needs and happiness in the relationship, and seek the help that is accessable. I could lie naked next to him and he would not touch me. I would have to ask and place his hand on my breast if I wanted to be touched, and even then he would not want to. he did not even kiss me, apart from greeting kisses, and if I initiated it, I could feel that he was just bored and responded out of just been polite.This hurt me deeply, to my very core. I was confused and thought that I may be placing too much on the physical aspect, but it was important to me. I also had made excuses to myself, that his low libido was a result of the chronic medication and that maybe our relationship would work out as we were also friends who could spend time just talking-something positive in a relationship. I loved him, and I guess I still do, but I ended the relationship and we are still friends who are there to help each other out at times. I was unhappy in that relationship and my concern is as to why I stayed in it for so long. What was wrong with me? Was it perhaps a lack of love for myself? or that I thought and hoped that things would change by some miracle? Scary!