Living In Fear

Hello my name is Paul, when i was younger, as alot of teenagers do i experience various drugs, the worse drug i did was aerosol cans (lynxs spray) but made me feel good so i started doing speed, which is amphetamine, then i tried magic mushrooms and went on for roughly 3-4 years doing various drugs. I stopped taking these drugs but i carried on smoking cannabis and doing poppers. When i was 20 i had a horrible experience with poppers, i was in my room watching Eastenders and suddenly their lips didnt interact with what they were saying, at this point i got scared and felt like i was loosing my marbles and i cried i vowed never to do any drugs again because it scared me that much. 10 years later i went out with a few friends and i remembered being in the pub and wanted to get out, felt like i was having an asthma attack i tried taking myself off to the hospital but a friend stopped me and helped me calm down and gave me an airwave chewing gum which helped me calm down. I am now 34 i have been experiencing panic attacks for round about 4 years, recently i've been experiencing out of body experiencing which i went to the doctors and he had told me that it sounds very much like psychosis which i go through pretty much all the time. Now i find i can't do things that i used to be able to do for example i cant lift anything heavy without having this feeling in my throat that my airway closing up and the same walking up hills and even walking, and doing my shoe laces and coming up suddenly and being out of breathe and it scaring me, is there anyone out there who is going through the same experience as this? Also usually at night time i feel there constantly something in my throat, that makes me panic and when i burp i feel it in there that makes me panic even more which causes me to urge. Like i said before im 34 years old and i don't want to live like this anymore living in fear, if anyone has any advise for me it would be very much appreciated. Thank-you so much for taking your time to read this, i hope someone has some answers for me.
keanuholley keanuholley
31-35
May 16, 2012