Hard to Live In the Here and Now

i think way too much about my past. i never had anything traumatic happen to me, i had a great childhood, but the eighties were the absolute best time of my life. you'd think i could put it away, but there's sooo many memories. there was such a great group of us that hung out, and i know its silly to think it would continue, but i want to go back. life now is so mundane, there is no "group". i know i'm silly. songs will make me think of "that reminds me of driving in so and so's car" for example. there's one guy that i connected with  when i was 15 and he was 17. we dated for 1 1/2 yrs, grew apart, came back together 3 yrs later. dated again for 2 yrs. grew apart again. i moved away, a few yrs later he found me, phoned me and we came back again... i married someone else, that marriage fell apart, couple yrs later, we came back together for a time, me with children, him with children.  drew apart again, i married again, he called me to tell me he was moving quite far away and did i want his phone number, i reluctantly said "no"....that was 7 yrs ago. i don't know what force was working there, but for whatever reason, we couldnt stay apart. no matter how many years had past, we would always seek each other out.  almost 30 yrs of history with this man, and i still think about him. 

i miss you....

prettyinpink prettyinpink
46-50, F
2 Responses Jul 3, 2007

I understand the love for the 80's. If I could go back and live there forever, I would. I was happiest then and know I will never be that happy again.

aww! brought tears to my eyes ... literally. if only i did NOT understand your story. that would be a blessing. perhaps the daily memory is the blessing - to give me guidepost of sorts for my future relationships. i dunno. whatever it is, i wish it would ease up but it fails to even after 3-4 years being apart. do you have his # now? are you able to get a hold of it? what would you do with it? (just curious is all.)