Process Out-loud

I get told this a lot. I process, then I process a little more, then I might speak, or I might decide it's not worth sharing, or I still don't have the right words, or I don't want to get into that discussion. I'm especially guilty of this when in an argument. I first have to process my emotional reaction, then I have to process my logical reaction, then I have to decide what, if any of it, needs to be shared.

Surprisingly enough, this doesn't work well in my relationship. Who knew open communication was so important? ;) I'm learning to process out-loud. I'm learning that I don't have to be in a position of certainty in order to share what I'm thinking. I'm learning to talk things out with another person instead of working it all out in my head before speaking.

It's a process, and it's very easy for me to go back into my head and stay there. It is comforting in there - it's logical in there. But, I need to find the balance. There's the safety of inside my head, and there's a rewarding risk to processing out-loud.
scorpioBaby scorpioBaby
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 9, 2010

Thank-you. You have expressed beautifully the process which often takes place inside my own head. But I have found over the years, that processing aloud often ends up being overly wordy and usually leaves the listener confused, and often leaves me feeling that I have misrepresented myself.

I can relate to what you've said here and I really like the way you express yourself in writing. Balance is sometimes elusive, but when I find it I feel bliss :)