My Own Little Worlds

I spend the majority of every day in my head. Sometimes I map things which happen in the real world to be my little fantasy worlds. I always have a few of them at any given time. Some are completely fabricated, with my own characters and environment. Sometimes I use worlds and characters which already exist. Sometimes I put myself in these worlds, sometimes I act through somebody else. I script entire conversations and scenarios, I spend hours every morning and night running through them. I'm pretty socially awkward, so one of the things I like about creating a world inside of my head is that I can control everything. There's no judgement, or caution, or fear, and I can act out things in my mind which I would never do in real life, or which could never possibly happen. I realise that it's probably incredibly sad, and not particularly healthly. Sometimes I think I could be a great writer, as I have a whole stockpile of ideas and developed stories and characters floating around in my head. Other times I think I would just come across as a bad fanfiction writer. I guess I use it as a form of avoiding my real problems. If I stepped out of my head for one day I would realise that I have nothing going on in my real life.
Pandamine Pandamine
22-25, F
3 Responses May 24, 2011

Do you guys also get headaches at your peaks, because after a few minutes of simulating environments in my head with sound, emotion and other effects it becomes very stressful and sometimes anxiety inducing for me. I start to lose track of time and also I forget that I am in a room until my mom yells at me for not answering her. Also I thought I was alone with these kinds of experiences, it is nice to know that I am not the only one in the world with the capability to recreate events in such detail.

That is exactly the same as me, I never thought that anyone else was like that! It's actually a nice feeling knowing there are other people! and the same with the writing aspect, my Mum has a similar thing and she writes books, but I was never as good at it so I gave up in the end, but like you said it's all in your head, the conversations, the environment! I find it easier to "act out" the scenarios on my own but while listening to certain music which makes it in my head seem more of a film or something. It is really weird, but to be honest I don't think I mind it as it doesn't hurt anyone plus it makes it gives you a kind of happy feeling... but that's just me :)

I've been looking everywhere for someone who does this too! I fit your desc<x>ription exactly, and I think you explain it well (I've been trying to explain it to my family). I"ve been wondering how normal people live without doing this, I mean.... don't they get bored? I don't know. It's very confusing. I just know that I'm never really me. I'm always some character in an elaborate setup in my head.