Have Always Been Different

If you had been criticized a lot as a child- I think you learn to defend yourself in your head. It is one danger that you have for your children if you are a overly critical parent.

1Babe 1Babe
46-50, F
6 Responses Aug 30, 2009

If you figure it out- let me know!

I agree. I can honestly say that I have no memories of being spoken to in a positive manner as a child. I therefore do not trust my own thoughts, opinions or feelings about "out of head experiences," or what most people call real life exeriences. I always retreat to my head when situations are uncomfortable or unfamiliar. I often play out possible outcomes or replay over and over actual outcomes analyzing all factors of the situation, especially my own preformance in the situtation, usually, of course, being very self-critical. Unfortunately, I have passed this on to my son. He does the exact same thing. We both like people, but have trouble making friends. I don't know how to fix this.

I think the only way to fix it is to socialize more and be very nice. I zone out even if i do not mean to, and my friends will kindly bring me back to earth when they wish to speak to me. It might be awkward at first, but the more you socialize, the easier it is to make friends if they can sense the nice person that you are inside.

You just don't want to pass that part of your life onto your children.

What a totally true statement you have!! I was criticised alot as a child. It can be a negative thing or you can use for the good. I always have a great answer for the critics in my life.

I think it makes me look for the motive of criticism. I don't trust it. If it something that I can see; I'll change it if I want to. In most cases you find; it's one persons opinion over yours. And..... you know about opinions.

"If you had been criticized a lot as a child- I think you learn to defend yourself in your head." Mmmm, that's true, I do do this. Everytime I have a complaint or whine about something, I can hear what my criticizer would say. Sometimes I hold it back because of this fact. Other times I already have an answer for those who are ready to criticize me, since I've already played it in my head.