Its One Thing to Call the Devil, Another to See Him Coming

I live with Satan.  I also live with a loving, caring man who would do anything for me..except skip a drink  or take medication for any "so call reason."  When I first met him he concealed the little alchoholic factor...I found that out about 6 months into the relationship.  He was at first perfect.  Great sexually, still is...only time I like him.  We've been together for twelve years and have two children who are afraid for husband and I to be alone because he is physically, verbally, psychologically abusive.  He also shows signs of paranoa.  I can't go anywhere without being accused of sleeping around.  So I started therapy cuz I just lost a close friend and began having panic attacks.  I am an artist and I require space to be creative.  This man chose to take off the whole month of July.  I thought I would loose my mind.  ANYTHING CAN TRIGGER A MANIC EPISODE.  Once I put too much spinach on his plate.  Another time I didn't make enough hamburgers so that he cold have seconds... he ended up taking the whole frying pan and putting it in  the garbage.  Anything I love,,,he hates,,,my daughter, my dog, my friends, my religion.  So why don't I leave?  Well as I have said he can be Satan or Zorro.  WHen he's good he's golden.  He is spontaneous, a pick up and go guy.  He protects his family and will do anyhting to make sure we are cared for.  H e also appears quite normal and can fix anything, but refuses to do jobs around the house because I threw him out after he choked my nineteen year old after she asked him why did he kick her cat.  He has been to AA. Angermanegement  and was prescribed Lexapro.  He refused to tkae it.  I am really running low on tolerance and am wondering if this could ever work.

Istheresomethingwrongwithme Istheresomethingwrongwithme
4 Responses Aug 11, 2009

One problem is they gave him lexapro-- if he is bipolar he should NOT be on an anti depressant anti anxiety drug. It actually makes them worse. He needs a mood stabilizer like Lamictal. Lamictal is wonderful. It evens them out and helps them to be more aware even when they are going through a manic episode. It's also good to pay attention to their cycles and watch for the warning signs. Manic episodes have several warning signs that happen days in advance even in rapid cyclers like my husband is. He first gets really cranky, and hyper critical, and then he loses his appetite and can't sleep, and his brain "turns on" as he puts it. He gets really creative and absorbs himself into projecvts, and at first is really productive until the anxiety and perfection monster moves in and then he becomes tunnel vision on small details. It prevents him from finishing projects, and neglects us too. then about two days later he crashes into a major depression and gets really tired. I try to follow his cycles, and watch for the signs, and if he starts getting cranky, I make him aware of it. Sometimes he will deny that it is him, but generally he gets it that he's being an ******* and usually will go into his "cave" until the grouchiness passes. He understands that when he is like that he hurts people and has a really hard time controlling it, and since he can't control other people he retreats instead. Yes it can be lonely when he is in those stages, but I have learned he does come back, so I treat him with love and gentleness during those times and try not to take it so personally.

I am bi-polar axis 2 I was married to a women I truly loved. I am also an alcoholic I can't take medications but instead I drink. My wife was very difficult with me but when I drank I was like Satan too. I was physically, and verbally abusive to my wife Paola. I loved her very much but she just was not able to be supportive of me or loving so she drifted away we separated and got back together many times but then she just filed for divorce. It's extremely hard to be bi-polar we have to be positive and have positive people around us. We also need love and to be able to give love. My life has hit rock bottom I don't drink anymore I go to rehab many times a week now. I have to file for bankruptcy and am very alone, sad, depressed, but my illness of both bipolar and alcoholism has put me here along with thinking errors. I have learned that the fact of the matter is that if you have emotional illnesses then it's hard to have a good relationship unless the bipolar person takes meds, going to his/her appointments, and has a very special person that is supportive and loving if not the relationship cannot last.

Hi there :)<br />
Remember he mirror reflects who you are... if you hate him he will feel that hate...<br />
Love him even when he is being horrible... tell him you love him and want joy in your lives.. don't give in to negativity.. positive loving energy helps us be human... negativity fear and hate keeps us like the animals... <br />
2% of our DNA makes us different from the animals... and fear, hate and anger resonates at a wave that hits the codons on our DNA strand that we have switched on to make us like the animals... Love resonates at a shorter wave length and hits new codons on our DNA strand... this helps us evolve and grow and be different to animals... compassionate, forgiving, intelligent and creative....<br />
Its easy to be hateful and reactive ... its harder to Love... but keep loving and you will notice the difference in your life.<br />
I too have a husband who was like yours... and with love, positive reactions and help from the doctor he is now on the mend and our lives are now fuller and more loving than ever before.<br />
Its ahard test for you all.. keep strong.. stay positive and if you need advice or a shoulder to cry on i am here for you 24-7... ok.. we need to help one another... serving otheres serves ourselves.. if we do things for others before we do things for ourselves all our needs are met... its magical.. xx<br />
hugs of loving positive joy<br />
Mandy xx

Hello im 23 and have been in love (with a man who is also 23 and bipolar) for two and a half years I broke up with him last night, because I just could not handle the reoccuring memories of his verbal abusive anymore even when he is happy Im happy too, but ill get a flash back of the crazy things he has said and done and then i resent him and hate him for it. <br />
He is the perfect person for me when he is good and the worst thing for me and my mental state when he is bad. <br />
Depression runs in my family and i feel when i am with him he can trigger that but he can also bring me back out of it. I am sooo confused of what to do its sickening and very sad. I cannot afford a counsler. maybe you have some words for me?