Well where do i start i met my partner through a mutual interest, what a wonderful guy he was attentive great with my kids wanted to look after us as he put it .... after seeing each other for about 9 months we took the plunge and i moved into his house it was going to be great we could be together and i could go back to work as i was closer to employment oppportunities etc etc ...... our problems started when my partner started to heckle my kids and myself at everything sitting on the sofa incorrectly using the telephone the computer anything could and would set him off in a rage where he would hide the phone the computer heating controls take fuses out power box so certain rooms had no power, he will lock us out of house, yell abuse, take my car keys, throw away personal items ie: cellphones, i would be constantly accused of having boyfriends of lieing about my whereabouts, i am not allowed to socialise without him, when i moved in i was only allowed to bring certain items as my things are junk......... this man is a terrorist of the worst nature he has no control over his emotions he is continuously paranoid about things that don't exist he gets incredibly jealous over minor things he snoops through everything my mail computer cellphone phone calls and i cannot believe i have gotten into such a situation my warning is to anyone out there is this " if you have even the slightest suspicion that your partner is exhibiting signs of control even if minor RUN and don't stop please listen to your friends and family they are RIGHT they do see the things you minimise this person DOES NOT LOVE YOU ...... they are so insecure and terrified of being out of control that they will destroy ANY relationship they are in they have mixed notions of what LOVE actually is they are so incredibly frightened you will abandon them that, THAT is exactly what you will do as noone can live like i am still doing at present i am working on getting out slowly infact i will be out of his life hopefully in the next few months i hvae committed to financial situations that i need to get rid of before i can strike out on my own again more fool me :0( but neverthe less nothing that cannot be remedied :0) all i can hope for at the moment is to keep my growing hatred and anger at this person in check until the day i can walk free :0)

amiblind amiblind
3 Responses Sep 27, 2009

Its been years but I hope you got out. I had the courage to buy a one way ti net with my daughter out of state and left! My ex did everything you mentioned above and he may have bipolar disorder.

My gawsh this guys sounds like my father..he's a schizo and had my moms house under lockdown..we couldn't do anything right without his eyes watching us even when he wasn't looking at us...it felt almost like he wasn't a real person because all he's do is sit on the couch bark orders lock us out the house all he wanted to be was alone...maybe that's what ur "partner" needs. As long as you communicate openly with your children about him and his actions they may be able to come out of this having learned that is isn't right and to never be like him. I wish i had known y my dad was such a mean guy but never found out till i was like 18 or so. It made me feel scared to be yelled at all the time.

Yes, get yourself and your children out of that situation. He is not only a controller, but also a manipulator.