My Husband Can't Throw It Away!

My story is certainly not as torturous as some I have read.  However, it has taken me years to realize that my constant struggle to manage all the stuff my husband collects and saves has drained and exhausted me.  I do not let things get totally gross or unhealthy, but that takes a lot of time and organizing. I can't stay ahead of him, however.  Finally, I am breaking out of my "secret" world and learning that I am not alone and that many people hoard to some degree or other.  I am just starting on my journey to learn strategies for dealing with this so that I can get some rest and peace of mind.  The clutter and disorganization are debilitating.  Unfortunately, our 18 year old son seems to be like his father in the way.  Oh my.  I am not a neat freak, but I just want some of the clutter to stop coming!
nmgrl51 nmgrl51
2 Responses Oct 31, 2010

nmgrl51, your story was almost exactly what I could have written, except for the 18-year-old son. Our only daughter is 21, and luckily already moved out to go to uni. Our house is too big for the two of us, but not big enough for my husband's stuff! he's taken over all the closets and cupboards, so my clothes are just piled on chairs, and he's got the nerve to complain that my stuff is the problem!!! I really am at my wit's end. Thoughts of leaving and finding a minimalist airy space for myself somewhere is recurring more and more frequently... I don't think I'm ever going to have a manageable home with him. I am tired, I am ashamed to invite anyone over anymore, I am losing all my energy and joy of life. It's just a constant biggering battle with him. It does help to read that I am not alone but so far the only happy ending have involved a separation - I guess I was hoping to find out a cure.

My husband has filled the house up with his things. He has also filled the sheds too. When he fills one shed up to the rafters he has another one built so he can collect more things.....I have no friends anymore, not one friend, and I am so lonely. I have one sister who lives in the city, I live in the country, and one son who never leaves the house. He seems to think that it is ok for his father to fill the house up. I have almost no life left and I'd like to be happy for a little while.