I Thought I Was Crazy

I have been with my husband since I was sixteen. Married at 20. He has always been passive aggressive but I didn't know there was a name for it. If he has to do something or go somewhere he doesn't want to he will start a fight or say something isn't working right whatever to get out of it. He can never just say I don't want to do that.i he will never pay a compliment or say thank you for anything I do for him. I remember being on my honeymoon thinking we would have sex every night. We Didn't have sex once. I thight it was that I wasn't pretty or skinny enough but I was 120 pounds and very attractive. He doesn't contribute to any household chores or parenting. When something goes wrong or one of the kids misbehaves of course it's my fault because he had no involvement I the first place. My husband never initiates sex. When I confronted him he turned it around and said he tried one night but I rejected him. I have never rejected him. He told me "I'm not begging for it". My mother tried to explain to me when I was younger he was not normal but I wouldn't listen. I live a very lonely life. I sleep in a bed next to a man who will never reach over and hug me or show any affection. He is critical and nothing is ever good enough. You can never get him to make a decision or give a straight yes or no answer. My youngest is 13 and as soon as he goes to college I am leaving. I would rather live alone then play his games. I am tired and worn out. I hope I can make it that long.
Eare Eare
4 Responses Apr 12, 2012

Oh my word i could have written this word for word :-(

My husband is all of these things except he thrives on sex. I think it's because he's been conditioned through it and looks at women as objects and not a person who he can show love to. His eyes glass over like he's in another world. I might as well not even be present. I know everyone says to leave but we've only been married since September. Shouldn't I try to get to understand his way of thinking or just find a tough way out?

I gave up long ago and sleep in my own tidy little room rather than in the smelly mess the master bedroom has become. My PA momma's boy knows he has found just the right idiot who puts up with his sullen self pity and will likely waste her life catering to this slob. If you can run for the hills!

I know what you mean I have been living this kind of life for 27 years. my suggestion is to get out it will be harder if you wait (that is the stage that i'm in now where Im trying to leave but really scared of him to do it) I waited too long to leave.<br />
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things dont get better it just gets worst if you wait. believe me.