I Live With a Passive Aggressive Male
Dealing with someone who is passive aggresive can be very tiring. When it finally dawns on you, you realise that you do not even know the person whom you are dealing with. Malice veiled in faux companionship. What veiled malice you ask? To deceive one into believing that one is actually secure when one is not. To lull someone into a false sense of security. The funny thing is, they seem to do everything else BUT the very thing which you asked them to do. They'll be nice in ways that can be appreciated, and you appreciate their "niceness", but that is not what you really want. What you ask for you will have to fight for, and what you need they will with-hold.
Why? What are the reasons behind their actions? Who knows? They behave the way they do for reasons that are only known to themselves. Their behaviour is totally acceptable in their eyes, regardless of what logic you have to present, they are right and you are wrong. So we play the guessing game. Why have you not done what I asked? It's a conundrum that you will die trying to figure out. Forget it. Just accept that for whatever reason, they hold no regard for you or what you want. It is always about them and how YOU can meet THEIR needs.
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone can display this type of behaviour. You and I can become passively aggressive, forced into a mode that we don't usually function in. The reasons for this are incalculable. But whatever reason we have to justify our bad behaviour should not be used as an excuse for it. Stop abusing people's trust, it just ain't cool.
Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia on some of the signs and symptoms of passive aggressive behaviour;
The book Living with the Passive–Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive–aggressive behavior:[2]
- A relationship with a passive aggressive person usually becomes very parasitic. You giving and giving while they sit back and receive. It is not that they do not give at all. No. They do give. But they give very small amounts, little bites just to sustain you. To keep your hope in them alive. It is always what they are willing to give, nothing more.
What? More porridge???
You're just an Oliver Twist to them.
Why? What are the reasons behind their actions? Who knows? They behave the way they do for reasons that are only known to themselves. Their behaviour is totally acceptable in their eyes, regardless of what logic you have to present, they are right and you are wrong. So we play the guessing game. Why have you not done what I asked? It's a conundrum that you will die trying to figure out. Forget it. Just accept that for whatever reason, they hold no regard for you or what you want. It is always about them and how YOU can meet THEIR needs.
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone can display this type of behaviour. You and I can become passively aggressive, forced into a mode that we don't usually function in. The reasons for this are incalculable. But whatever reason we have to justify our bad behaviour should not be used as an excuse for it. Stop abusing people's trust, it just ain't cool.
Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia on some of the signs and symptoms of passive aggressive behaviour;
The book Living with the Passive–Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive–aggressive behavior:[2]
- Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of creating a feeling of insecurity in others or of disguising one's own insecurities.
- Intentional Inefficiency: Intentionally being late and forgetting things, another way to exert control or to punish.
- Convenient forgetfulness: To win any argument with a dishonest denial of actual events.
- Fear of competition
- Fear of dependency
- Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: the passive–aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
- Making chaotic situations
- Making excuses for non-performance in work teams
- Obstructionism
- Procrastination
- Sulking
- Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.
- A relationship with a passive aggressive person usually becomes very parasitic. You giving and giving while they sit back and receive. It is not that they do not give at all. No. They do give. But they give very small amounts, little bites just to sustain you. To keep your hope in them alive. It is always what they are willing to give, nothing more.
What? More porridge???
You're just an Oliver Twist to them.
By:
Scorpio1987
Age:
22-25
,
Male
