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For the last 5 years my husband has suffered from chronic pain from neck surgeries, bulging discs and arthritis pain.  He currently takes morphine twice a day, among other medicines.  He spends most of the day in bed.  He is able to be up for only a couple hours out of a day.  The toll it's taken on our marriage is very sad.  I feel like a roller coaster of emotions.  One day I'm able to cope and the next I'm a mess.  We separated for about a month.  We are now back together and I just try to take it day by day.  I don't know what the future holds and it scares me.  I want so much more for my husband.  He currently is about 150 pounds overweight.  I feel like if he lost weight, he would feel much better.  But the pain and the medicine keep him sedentary making weight loss almost impossible. 
wildtky2 wildtky2 41-45 5 Responses Nov 14, 2010

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Your setting does not permit contact. I am the chronic pain member of a similar couple.

I too am married to a person that lives in pain. He has had three lumbar discectomies and one cervical with plating. Now, he is experincing sever sciatica pain. He said he hip; leg and knee feel like they are twisting out of their joint. It is taking the doctor FOREVER to get a MRI set up so he can get to his neurosurgeon once again and nobody wants to give him pain meds. He has been through the pain medication addictions and while I feel very bad for him and want him to have pain meds to help, it is hard to bare the thought of having him sitting idle and dorked out on meds. UGH..this is so very exhausting for both of us. Like you, i am patient and empathtic one day and the next I wonder how the hell I will cope with this. We have been married since we were 19 and 23. Now we are 47 and 51. I could write and write one story after another as I am sure you all could as well. Thank you for reading my story... I hope to be able to write more soon. This may be my therapy! I really, sincerely, feel bad for the suffers of the condition and I feel the same sense of sympathy for us that must endure this different kind of pain...this pain...messing with our emotions is a chronic condition all its own.

I too live with someone who suffers with chronic pain. We've been together since 17 and 18 and are now 46 and 47. At the age of 5 my husband had been horsing around with friends when he fell. It caused a hairline crack in his spine which was fused at age 9. He was fine until his early 20s and everything has gone down hill since. I am barely coping. I don't know if our marriage will survive.

My wife also suffers from CP. Plus she smokes, she doesn't sleep well because of the meds, she now wears one of those masks for sleep apnea. I try to do what I can around the house but she insists on keeping so much junk around that I can't even attempt to keep it clean. I take care of the outside as well, which I do better than keeping up the inside. This isn't how I imagined life would be... I know how you feel--- HELPLESS. We can't make things better and we know that things won't get better. Not a lot of fun...

I know your feelings...I feel them on an hourly basis. I go from hopeful to a crashing bottom multiple times a day. The weight is such a catch 22. You know the weight contributes to the pain but how do you lose weight when walking across the room causes you extreme pain or sneezing causes you to lose control of your leg? I too would like to find others who are in this situation to chat with. I don't want to get a divorce but can't continue to be so sad and lost.

Hi! I noticed you didnt post this too long ago. My Husband has chronic pain and its taking a tole on our relationship too! If your still around message me back, maybe we could chat. I am looking for a support group.



-Heather