I Live With a Spouse That Suffers From Chronic Pain
My husband and I have been together for 30 years...Hard to even imagine it's been that long but it has.
He was involved in an accident that gave him chronic back pain and then a year later he fell off of a roof due to the back injury and shattered his heel and had to have reconstructive surgery on his foot to put it back together. We not only have had to deal with all the pain but dealing with finances and the disbelief of disability trying to make him out as this "faker"...I live with the man...Believe me...the pain is real!!
A man who was completely independent and loved to go and do things is now a shell of his former self. He hates to be around crowds and has anxiety about every day things. He doesn't want to admit that he's disabled and refuses to accept that he is very much the person who needs to use the electric cart at stores..He'd rather walk for a few minutes and then leave because he's in too much pain.
Our relationship has suffered because of all this. He has severe depression and PTSD from how he was treated after working for a company for 24 years and then treated like dirt with no compensation. I admit that I have done some things that I should not have...talked to old flames...I am sure I will catch heck with that statement but it's true. He is so hurt by who I contacted and I doubt he will ever forgive me. Any time I try to talk to him about what I am feeling I get the whole situation thrown in my face over and over.
I feel so completely alone. I have become almost numb to the whole situation. I have tried over and over to keep him motivated to try new things to relieve his pain but he feels he will just be stuck like this the rest of his life..I DON'T ACCEPT THAT!
I grieve for the man that I married. I sometimes see a flicker of his former self but it ALWAYS comes back to the pain and . I truly don't think he can see what this is doing to me. I truly don't know what to do. I have almost left twice but can't see starting over especially when he's the one that I truly love and want to be with..sigh.
He was involved in an accident that gave him chronic back pain and then a year later he fell off of a roof due to the back injury and shattered his heel and had to have reconstructive surgery on his foot to put it back together. We not only have had to deal with all the pain but dealing with finances and the disbelief of disability trying to make him out as this "faker"...I live with the man...Believe me...the pain is real!!
A man who was completely independent and loved to go and do things is now a shell of his former self. He hates to be around crowds and has anxiety about every day things. He doesn't want to admit that he's disabled and refuses to accept that he is very much the person who needs to use the electric cart at stores..He'd rather walk for a few minutes and then leave because he's in too much pain.
Our relationship has suffered because of all this. He has severe depression and PTSD from how he was treated after working for a company for 24 years and then treated like dirt with no compensation. I admit that I have done some things that I should not have...talked to old flames...I am sure I will catch heck with that statement but it's true. He is so hurt by who I contacted and I doubt he will ever forgive me. Any time I try to talk to him about what I am feeling I get the whole situation thrown in my face over and over.
I feel so completely alone. I have become almost numb to the whole situation. I have tried over and over to keep him motivated to try new things to relieve his pain but he feels he will just be stuck like this the rest of his life..I DON'T ACCEPT THAT!
I grieve for the man that I married. I sometimes see a flicker of his former self but it ALWAYS comes back to the pain and . I truly don't think he can see what this is doing to me. I truly don't know what to do. I have almost left twice but can't see starting over especially when he's the one that I truly love and want to be with..sigh.
By:
ilysign2
Age:
46-50
