Sometime Bliss Sometimes Total Hell

My husband and I have been married one year in June 2012. I have an eight year old son who has been diagnosed with ADHD and my hushusband has been diagnosed with ADHD, unspecified mood disorder, and Aspergers syndrome as of last year. Sometimes life is total bliss but most of the time I sit quietly by while he goes on a rant about regretting his decision to marry me and have a family ( I usually pull strands of my hair out as he goes on). He is employed and has a very good career as a anatomy and physiology professor at a local college. I was so proud of him this week because he has just been nominated and selected by his students as teacher of the year (mind you he has never been awarded anything throughout his ten year teaching career). The same day he accepted the award he began telling me how he regrets being married and having a family because it restricts him from doing what he wants when he wants. He has told me this before and even to the extent of telling my father one night. I take care of the kids, the house (which he is very particular about like constant organization, his favorite pants and shirts being laundered and pressed everyday, grocery shopping, birthdays, grading his papers, ect.) Well today I decided to visit my parents and give him alone time which I know he desperately needed, but when I came home with a plate from my moms he told me very rudely, oh you think I can eat this late at night? I am hurt . I don't know how to help him and when I do its not enough. I'm so sad.
Faith3 Faith3
26-30, F
2 Responses May 5, 2012

Thank you so much Jane32 for your comment, I am having a horrible night and it helped (more so then you could ever know).

Just like someone who has a physical disability, not all behaviors are directly related to and therefore excused by someone's difference from others. Sometimes people can be cruel and mean just because they are people. And people are sometimes jerks. You know that you are not doing or saying anything wrong right? It was a gesture that could have been responded to wit "no thanks"... and that even without Aspergers some people want to point fingers and excuse their unhappiness as someone else's fault. it's called "venting" and you dont have to take it personally. Even though I too do feel the same way by the seemingly mean things said to me. <br />
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If you ever need a friend, I am here and I can emapathize with what you are dealing with... And I will never say you need to get out of the relationship because I don't think I should... 18 yrs and counting.... and if you need to say I am done and get out of it, I will also understand and empathize with you because it takes an extreemly special and strong person to deal with it, and even then it isn't always someone you can find a compromise with.... this is a grey area is my point. And no one in black and whites can understand this grey place of loving/being loved by/ an Aspie man.