I Lost Everything Because Of Pain

I'm a sufferer of cluster migraine, chronic migraine and migralepsy
the pain and ilness became to much and I failed school.
1 year later, I'm being evicted by my parents because I have no job or education.
Obviously I can't  have any of those, as 20 hours a day I'm just battling pain.

I even am losing my own life, after 20 days without having had a real meal. and almost a year without care and medicin. I feel like I've degenerated to noting more than a parasite.

So my dad told me it's the survival of the fittest, and I aint it.
SeaDragonST SeaDragonST
18-21, M
1 Response Feb 15, 2013

I am so sorry to read your story. Please do not give up ... There is always hope!

Are you having any medication?

Borderline suicidal
Sekf destrcutive bahaviour.

I found that psylocibin was the most effective of disrupting cluster migraine cycles and frequent use gets rid of it altogether. Including my dreaded migralepsia.
And that marinhuana took away the chronical pain, and makes me creative and happy. Downside is that after the normal medication were proven wrong and I started buying those. My family situation obviously got worse and now I'm guilty of being a drug user. My parents unregistered me and I'm not insured anymore. No healthcare and soon no roof.

So many people told me there is hope. They told me to look for it here. But honestly I wont be here for much longer. Maybe not because i killed myself, maybe it's just my stomache telling me "I'm done!" I haven't had a proper meal since 20 days.

Pain and Ilness (since migraine is not just pain, pain is just the most obnoxious symptom) accompanied with negligence, abandonment, depression, self guilt and loneliness. And still people are telling me to hope? I've been proven wrong by them so many times. What on earth can anyone do to help me?

Mind altering drugs are really not helping you are they!
In the UK the system is different ... Are there no clinics, run by charities or churches that offer free help where you are?

You are far to young to give up!

Actually the mind altering drugs, helped me getting over a part of my depression. And expanded parts of my conciousness, infact, I believe I've been cured from a psychological disorder that only made me think in one part of the brain.

I had traits of asperger, but they went gone the first time I did psylocybin, and like I said. Psylocybin arrests the cluster migraine cycle up to 2 week and 2 months.

I asked around help services and they said they can't be of much help with me.. Churches I will never touch, christianity proved to me from childs birth that I'm going to hell. I'm not going to touch that again, to hell with it.

Why do you think you are going to hell?

I am a Christian. I do not believe you are going to hell!
Back to there always being hope again.

Hell is the streets where I'm being forced to and left for dead.

When you are truly in he'll there is no possibility of ever getting out. Where you are that possibility exists. So it might feel like hell but it isn't!

There's no other possbility then death pretty much.

I've struggled with the way you feel since I was a child. I am now 34 years old. Sometimes it's been hell . Sometimes it's been good. You can do it if you really want to, and sometimes even if you don't, something carries you to a place where you can see the light. I hope you can hold on enough for that to happen.

7 More Responses