I Want To Live With My Boyfriend But I Want Your Opinion! Please!

Okay. So, I want to live with my boyfriend. We have been dating for four years and we have always lived separtely the whole time we have been dating. We are both Christians and are very involved in our church where we live. I graduate college this December 2010 and told him that I want to move in with him after I graduate. We would only live together for a few months because we would probably get married in the early summer of 2011. My main concern is telling the people I go to chuch with that I live with my boyfriend before we are married. And, telling my Dad. I think he might not like the fact that we live together before we are married (but, my 3 other siblings did the same thing with the people that they were dating and everything turned out okay for them...but my dad was stil upset).

I just want others opinions on:

Do you think I should go ahead and move in with my boyfriend a few months before we get married?

How do you think I should explain myself to my Dad and church members?

I just want to live with him...and I have waited long enough.

I know ultimately the decision is mine and my boyfriends but I just wanted others opinions.

Thank you for listening and thank you for your help!

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2 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Please save yourself and your values and don't do it!! I was a virgin and was into church and everything before hooking up with my partner now the relationship is kind of blah and I wish I would've did my own thing before moving in with him, wait and do it the right way get a ring on that finger first!

Hey!<br />
<br />
I am 20 years old and me and my boyfriend are both in our third year of college. We have been dating for almost a year and a half and we moved in together a little over a month ago. I am a lot younger than you but I can very much relate. We decided we wanted to move in together about six months into our relationship and I was TERRIFIED to tell anyone. I was so scared about what people would say that I almost didn't do it, even though I knew that's what we wanted, and that's what would be best for me. Me and him have a unique situation; it would've been illogical for us to not live together. Anyway, the first person I told was my mom. After telling her, the very first thing she said was "So you're going to live in sin." It was hard to hear this (even though she was joking) because it was a perspective that you have to think about. The next thing she said was "I understand where you're coming from, I did it, too." She told me that I was an adult and could make my own decisions. Now she likes that we live together, and is very supportive. My dad on the other hand, was not thrilled at all. Me and my boyfriend are not even engaged yet (although, he hints that it will be soon!). This was a big deal to my dad, but after talking to him adult to adult, he is supportive now also. The hardest people to tell were my extended family and church friends. Honestly, I don't even know if everyone knows that we live together, but I have heard of some of my own family talking badly about me. I have confronted them personally and asked them why they did not come to me with their concerns, and after a while of explaining to them that it was my decision and none of their business, they quickly turned from their judgmental attitudes and are supportive. <br />
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Here is my point: sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If you think about it, it is important to know if you guys can live together before you get married because it is a LOT different. Lot lot different! But in my case, and probably yours, it is a good kind of different. People WILL talk. People will disagree. And, eventually, people will get over it, if they truly love and care about you. Now I bring my boyfriend to church and I go to his, and we both go to all of our different family functions. So it all worked out! <br />
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Good luck to you both and I hope this helps!